Friday, July 2, 2021Tiny Confidence
I will admit partial responsibility for the monster I have created, but only partial.
It started years and years ago when Alexis was born with a birthmark on her forehead. I made it a point to encourage her to -embrace- that which made her different, rather than hide it or be ashamed of it. Over time, the birthmark faded, though it is still visible, and Alexis' confidence around said birthmark grew. We've escalated to the point where Alexis considers the birthmark to be her Emergency Warning System because it becomes more visible when she's angry. Basically, RUN. That's what it means. She's empowered by that whole thing.
And then there's Mila. We all have a thing that makes us physically different from everyone else. Oftentimes it's a thing that people make fun of. In Mila's case, her different thing is her size. I say it all of the time, but it's hard to comprehend how tiny she is unless you see her in person. She is TINY.
And she knows it.
And she LOVES it.
I get some credit for that since I have most definitely taught her all of the advantages to being tiny. They include things like the ability to still wear toddler-sized clothes. She gets to be the flyer at cheer. Everybody thinks she's cute because she's pint-sized. And ... she can pass for a younger age. She knows it and she OWNS it.
One recent example happened while we in Charleston. We went to a plantation to look at gardens and for me to basically ruin my children's lives with the knowledge that America was built on the backs of slaves and, well, we've always sucked. For as long as the country has existed, the rich have profited off cheap or free labor, even when they had done nothing to earn any sort of status other than to be born into the right family. Alexis used to love the romantic version of Southern history that she learned in school, but I went and crushed that whole thing by pointing out how many slaves died so the people who lived in that big fancy house could have a bigger, fancier house.
Yes, I'm great fun at parties.
ANYWAY, there was a fee to visit said plantation. Children 5-12 were $20, in fact, while adults were even more. We sauntered up to the ticket window and the woman working there looked at Mila and said, "She's under 5, right? So she's free?"
I paused. I don't tend to lie about these things, plus she's SEVEN. I think we're past the point of using that trick.
Buuuut ... no. Mila immediately chimed in with, "I'm four!"
She's a very good liar, but also she's very willing to let people think she's younger than she is for the sake of saving some money. I did not teach her that skill. She installed it all by herself.
I do wonder, however, how she's going to deal with looking younger than she is when it comes to the teen years and early twenties. At the rate she's going, she'll be carded until she's 40. Will that make her angry? Or will she love every second of it?
Some day we will find out.
Mermaid Party
There was one very unfortunate event that took place while we were in Charleston - Mila learned that there are kids her age who are involved in competitive dance. Even worse, they do things like get dressed up like tiny mermaids and dance to the atrocity that is "Mermaid Party." It's an atrocity because it's from a Barbie movie and if you've seen a Barbie movie, you know how very bad the music from that world can be.
So bad.
Basically, Mila saw this little mermaid party and desperately wanted to join in. She went from maybe? kinda? Sort of? caring about dance to, "SISSY, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE THE TEAM?"
That was quite the can of worms, right there. Alexis, of course, had very specific recommendations and was DELIGHTED to share them with the baby sister who she would love to have follow in her ballet-shoed footsteps.
It gets worse. Mila has been practicing all of those things every day since the whole thing went down. She's stretching and watching videos to learn how to learn choreography and allllll of the things that her sister told her to do. THIS IS ALL VERY BAD. FOR ME.
For what it's worth, I have opinions about kids Mila's age doing competitive anything. While they are positively adorable on that stage, I would prefer it be about fun and that we save the serious competition and hours and hours of practice for a little later in life. That thought was reinforced in Charleston when every single 1st place team of that age group responded in the same way to a simple question. Each time a winner was declared, the announcer would ask, "Do you know why you're up here?" Without fail, small child after small child failed to correctly answer that question. While it's adorable watching them shrug and go, "I don't know!" it's ... telling. It just doesn't have the same meaning for them to win a National Championship as a kid who has purposely worked towards that goal for the year.
ANYWAY. What I'm saying is Mila is screwed. I may give in earlier than I did with Alexis, but I ain't doing it right now. There are a lot of reasons for that, and some of them are that Mila completely lacks the focus to stay on that goal. If she manages that much for a while? Maybe I'll reconsider.
Or maybe I don't need to.
Mila has been going to summer camp. It's the same camp that Alexis went to, the one where Alexis now works. Every year they do a talent show. This year is no exception. It's a very open messy sort of calamity of a talent show in that there is almost no rehearsals, certainly no minimum amount of "talent" required to perform, and basically it's an opportunity for the kids to have fun and do something they love without regard for the actual production value. I'm in favor because obviously it's pretty great to let kids get an opportunity to perform with an audience.
Wanna guess what Mila danced to today in front of about 200 people? OF COURSE SHE DID. She went to camp yesterday, decided she wanted to have her own Mermaid Party, and talked two friends into joining her. She then (not really) choreographed some moves, conjured up costume requirements, and made it so.
That kid proudly and joyously marched to the center of that stage today and performed the bounciest dance of any dance ever in the history of life. Her co-conspirators were clearly along for the ride because they watched and mimicked Mila the whole time, which is to say basically three girls stood on stage and bounced for a few minutes.
AND WERE SO PROUD OF THEMSELVES FOR IT.
It was cute.
But it's telling and lends to a whole dilemma I'm going to need to work through. Upon advising Mila that there would be actual work involved with joining the dance team, Alexis told her sister, "You're going to have to become a good dancer."
Mila replied, "I'm already REALLY good."
She's not lacking in confidence, that's for sure.
