Let there be no doubt - I do things today with the expectation that my children will return the favor tomorrow. By virtue of being the oldest child, Alexis will owe me the most.
She will owe me for years of glitter. I find that crap in all of the oddest places. It's like a wildfire. It spreads uncontrollably, seemingly growing and expanding and exploding to every corner of the earth. It is not uncommon for me to make it most of the way through a day, look in the mirror, and realize that I've had a piece of glitter stuck to my forehead through a bunch of important work meetings.
It's amazing that I rarely get asked habout my time at the strip club. ::sigh::
She's also going to owe me for all of the times that she has talked back to me, and yet I've let her continue to walk this earth. It is "let" by the way, and I think she knows it. She seems to have a healthy fear of pushing things too far, but why does she have to toe the line? WHY?
Perhaps the biggest thing she will owe me for is cheer. All of the cheer. Every week of practice, each time I've parted with money to buy a giant bow, all of it. But especially the part where I was standing in a gym at 8:00 am on a Saturday morning surrounded by cheerleaders. And I drove an hour to get there. ON A SATURDAY MORNING.
When selecting my nursing home, dear Alexis, don't forget that I like really high percale sheets. I deserve really high percale sheets.
