A Terrible Way to Go
Thursday, May 31, 2018
burghbaby

When the end of the school year lurks, every single spare 10 minutes is a door I have to run through. I don't know why all of the things happen in May, but they do. "Spare" time is valuable.

Thus, when the sun was still up and I didn't have anywhere we had to be for a solid hour, I loaded Mila into the car with her birthday balloons and headed for some hills. I drug Alexis along for the ride because I can do that. There was exactly one goal - get a good photo of Mila.

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I eventually succeeded, but not until after I had 2462341908 photos of a pissed off Mila. This all took place on Memorial Day. We had people over and there was cake and swimming and generally Mila had the best day of her life. When things quieted down and I decided we would quickly go get photos, Mila was in a GREAT mood.

Then I backed out of the driveway with her in the back seat. She fell asleep before I made it past our mailbox.

For what it's worth, it was 7:30. That's an hour before her official bedtime, so NOPE TO THAT NAP. It doesn't matter the circumstances, ain't no reason to be napping right before bed because THAT is how to ruin an entire night.

Buuuut ... I've met Mila. You can't let her have a 10-minute nap. That's an invitation to have her turn into Godzilla. You've got to let her go a little bit longer, but not too long, and UGH. KIDS ARE HARD.

I tried to time it right. I failed, but I did try. So, basically we showed up at my cool hills with the exact right light and Mila was in full-on Beast Mode. She was so angry and so not cooperative and she really wanted nothing to do with photos.

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So, what happened? ALEXIS HAPPENED.

All hail the magic of a sixth grader for said sixth grader knows exactly how to get her little sister to giggle. There was a little dancing, a bit of shaking, and then there was a giant mountain of Three Stooges style antics. There's nothing that makes Mila laugh quite like physical comedy and Alexis is a master of the art.

Buuuut ... at one point Alexis decided that "pushing" me to the ground would be the best of the best ideas. She was right, based on Mila's laughter, but ... wilderness. Park. Hills. Weeds. Grass. A wide-open field. Basically, we were standing at the top in the middle of nowhere, which just so happens to be exactly where giant spiders live.

Guess what I squished when I got knocked over by the sixth grader. GO AHEAD. GUESS.

So when you see photos of Mila laughing hysterically, know that it's because she thinks it's FANTASTIC that there's a spider the size of her hand smashed on my bottom.

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