Arnie Returns
Monday, August 22, 2011
burghbaby

It read like an eviction notice, although it wasn't intended that way. When I first read the sales flyer proclaiming that our favorite pond store is closing, all I could think about was, "Oh, yeah! Arnie is still there!" They have been fish-sitting for us for . . . um . . . a while.

We took our Koi to the store when we had to fill in the pond at our old house over two years ago. We planned to get him back just as soon as we had a pond for him at the new house. I'm cute when I'm optimistic, and I have proof that I thought it would only take us a month to build  that pond.

Let's all take a moment and laugh hysterically at that "optimism." Some might actual call it "crazy talk." It took us a year to get a pond up and running, which is just a few minutes longer than a month. Ahem.

Anyway, it has been two years since we moved, and we do actually have a pond built in our back yard. It's not entirely done, but there have been fish living it in for a year. The thing is that those fish have seemed perfectly happy so I was super leery of upsetting the balance of the fishy universe by adding our giant Koi to the mix. Not only that, but the last time we moved Arnie, it pretty much sucked. There's really nothing fun about transporting a VERY VERY BIG fish 15 or so miles. It was easier to just let things be.

But I couldn't really let the pond store close without claiming him. It just seemed . . . wrong.

So on Saturday I planned to go to the pond store and inquire about Arnie. I figured they would either say, "Sure! You can have your fish back!" or "Uh, we've been feeding him for two years. Get lost." Either way I would walk away a winner. I didn't plan to actually get the fish just yet. I just wanted to put together a plan.

But then Alexis and I walked out of Las Velas and ran right into Mr. Husband. He had to work on Saturday while the short person had accompanied me to my fantasy football draft. When we literally ran into him on our way to the car and he said he was done with work, it was a sign. A SIGN, PEOPLE. He was meant to go with us to the pond store.

One thing led to another and somehow Mr. Husband wound up hauling a very heavy plastic tub filled with pond water and a giant fish out to my car. He had no idea it was coming, which just meant he didn't have time to argue with my plan (or lack thereof).  It's always better that way.

As we drove away with our REALLY REALLY BIG fish, we discussed who was going to do what so we could manage to get both cars back home and then deal with the fish. Mr. Husband had driven to work and I had driven to my fantasy football draft. We had left one of the cars downtown to run to the pond store. I was given an opening, so I ran with "I'LL DRIVE YOUR CAR!" and didn't give the husband a chance to argue.

That meant Arnie would stay in my car and Mr. Husband would drive Arnie to the house. I would follow shortly behind, surely home just moments after him so that I could help with the Arnie-From-Car-To-Pond-Transportation Project.

Oh, look! Something shiny!

It's such a travesty that when Mr. Husband dropped me off at the garage where he had parked his car, I had to walk past the Batman movie set. I mean, how sad is it that I had no choice but to stop and take a few pictures of the Bat Tumbler? And that I had to wait for them to finish filming a scene before I could pay for parking? And that I had to wait a few more minutes for them to finish that scene before I could use the elevator?

I sure was disappointed.

And I missed the whole Arnie-From-Car-To-Pond-Transportation Project. DARN THE LUCK!

Really, it's better that I missed it. The last time we had to move him the only useful thing I did was scream when Arnie flailed like a madman.

One of these days I'll figure out a way to take photographs of fish that show some scale. Just not today, apparently. If I had to guess, I'd say Arnie is somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 feet long.

(P.S. If you're keeping score, yes, Sidney was missing from the Return the Fish Home Project. We didn't see him and we didn't bother to ask.)

Article originally appeared on burgh baby (http://www.theburghbaby.com/).
See website for complete article licensing information.