There's a weird thing that happens when we go to Indiana. Alexis suddenly transforms into a pushy, assertive, confident, outgoing, and overly friendly little beast.
We're talking about a kid who would barely make eye contact with her grandparents a few years ago. That version of Alexis has been replaced by the version that takes off at wedding receptions. She spent hours dancing and dancing and dancing past weekend and I truly very barely saw her.
At all.
I mean, I probably should have been worried about where she had disappeared to, but I figured she was stalking one cousin or another. I always turned out to be right. Eventually. I suppose. I don't really know because HEY, MY KID CRAWLED OUT OF MY BUTT AND WENT AND BOTHERED OTHER PEOPLE!
PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Sorry. Just thinking about it still excites me a little. I mean, I got to go to the bathroom by myself one time. If you're a parent, you know how very thrilling that is.
See also: being a parent makes you lower your standards in amazing (and pitiful) ways.
ANYWAY.
I think I saw Alexis for a total of five minutes during the entire wedding reception. That five minutes ... HOOBOY. They were a very special five minutes. They were the five minutes when a very gleeful Alexis ran up to me, grinning from ear to ear. She stuck out her little fist and said, "Here, mom!" as if she was handing me (another) dessert.
But she wasn't.
She handed me a tooth that she had lost while out on the dance floor.
There was blood on it. And it was in my hand. AND I DIDN'T SCREAM THEN BUT I AM NOW AAAAAAAAAAAARGHPUKEVOMITGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Even better, though, is that there was no convincing the child that the tooth fairy could visit when we returned home. OF COURSE NOT. The tooth fairy had to visit while we were in Indiana, all sleeping in one very tiny bed. The evil little kid shoved that mangled tooth under her pillow just inches from my pillow later that night. It was all because she was very eagerly awaiting a visit from the tooth fairy.
Wanna guess how many times I've had a nightmare about finding a tooth under my pillow since then?
Answer: ALL OF THE TIMES.
Teeth are gross. And stupid.