I am a well-trained Disney Princess expert. Not only do I hold a Ducktorette Degree from Disney University (for real!), I have successfully navigated 11 years of Princess mania in the form of Alexis. I mean, the kid sweats glitter. From the time she could walk, I knew that she was meant to get all dreamy eyed at the thought of Prince Charming. She spends her every day looking for her happily ever after and it's fine.
Seriously. It's fine. Alexis is a stunningly adept feminist even as she swoons over all things Princess.You can get lost in the absurdity of fairy tales and still roll your eyes at radio commercials that say you should check out some granite counter tops because "they will blow your wife's mind."
(Has anyone else noticed that radio commercial? Alexis falls into a fit of fury every time it comes on. If an 11-year old thinks your commercial is sexist, it just might be sexist ...)
My point is that I know a thing or two about Princesses. I'm not saying I could win a trivia contest, but I could totally win a trivia contest, just as long as I was able to do it anonymously.
Soooooo ... when Mila started saying she wanted to "watch Princesses," it stands to reason that I should have been able to figure out what she wanted. Sure, it makes sense that I needed a minute to recover from the shock because that's the kid who is made of monster trucks and mud, but whatever. I should have been able to figure it out.
I tried everything from Elsa to Jasmine, Pocahontas to Belle, and Jasmine to Aurora. Nothing was the right thing. "I want Princess," she kept saying.
I tried and I tried and I tried. Each and every Princess I pulled out of my magic bag was met with, "Noooo, I want Princess."
I was stumped.
Then Mila and I ventured to Target. We just needed to grab yogurt (because not having yogurt is considered a felony around here), but she talked me into looking at toys. Once we checked out the Paw Patrol crew, we ventured over to the Trolls stuff, and then Mila said it. "I want Princess toy."
"SHOW ME A PRINCESS TOY!" I said. I was more than a little bit excited about the prospect of finally solving the mystery. I chased the Tiny Human up and down the aisles as she eagerly sought the Princess she wanted.
Wonder Woman. It was mother-truckin Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is "the Princess."
I really should have figured that out.
