I mentally wrote a post earlier today and then discovered a mind-blowing coincidence. I could take this post from exactly one year ago today, copy, and paste it. It would PERFECTLY describe today. A different source of water was involved, but the mood was the same. Apparently I need to make a note in my calendar that says ALEXIS WILL BE MISERABLE AS SHE GROWS LIKE A WEED all across June of 2013.
See? This is why blogging is good. It can help you find trends and such.
And it can lead to very interesting discoveries.
If it weren't for the fact that I needed to write a blog post, I wouldn't have turned the sprinkler on a couple of hours ago. If I hadn't turned the sprinkler on a couple of hours ago, I wouldn't have ran outside after dark. (Barefoot--you'll figure out why that matters in a minute, but do me a favor and never speak of it again. I'm trying to pretend I don't know what I know.) If I hadn't ran outside after dark, I wouldn't have noticed some weird shadows on the front porch on my way back into the house. If I hadn't noticed some weird shadows on the front porch on my way back into the house, I wouldn't have turned on the porch light. If I hadn't turned on the porch light, I wouldn't have solved the greatest mystery in my life.
You guys. The centipedes. I FIGURED IT OUT.
When I turned on the porch light and peered through the doorway, I immediately realized the strange shadows were moving. HUNDREDS OF THEM WERE MOVING. ON THE PORCH. If centipedes were pre-pubescent girls, it would have been like they heard there was a free Justin Bieber concert on the porch. They were crawling around EVERYWHERE in hopes of getting a little Biebs action.
Our front porch is concrete, but there were issues with getting it up high enough to meet the doorway. The resolution was to pour the concrete porch on top of some concrete blocks. So. SO. There is a sort of "cave" under our porch.
Guess where hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of garden centipedes were living.
Apparently those little effers have been emerging from their cold, dark hiding place at night and crawling around all over the porch. Apparently they are still there at 4:30 am when the husband gets up. Apparently when he lets the dogs out through the front door, those effin little creepers with too many legs manage to hitch a ride aboard the furry train known as Penny.
I suspect that the effin little creepers with too many legs have hitchhiked their way into the house more than once, but usually end up dying before Alexis and I bother to rise and shine for the day. There must have been a day when they managed to survive just a bit longer and that is what led to Centipede-a-palooza.
Which won't be happening again, just for the record.
It took me all of two seconds to run to our garage, grab the Very Serious Bug Killer Stuff, and douse the hell out of every square inch of EVERYTHING IN OUR ENTIRE FRONT YARD OMG.
So long, suckers. I hope your deaths were as miserable as the thought that I just walked across that porch without shoes.
And now I'm going to go amputate my feet while I watch some centipedes die. Ahem.
