Childhood Lost
Wednesday, June 2, 2021
burghbaby

You know what would have been a perfect way to spend Saturday? Sitting on the couch chilling a lot and maybe cleaning the house. Did I do that? OF COURSE NOT. After staying up until 4:00 am blowing up hundreds of balloons to stuff into Mila's bedroom for her birthday, it seemed like I had to do -something- special. Like, we needed to go somewhere and do something we wouldn't do any other day. The kid has high expectations for her birthday is what I'm saying.

The challenge was that it was cold and rainy. Like I said, it was a good day to sit on the couch and not be productive. Alas.

Despite my deep desire to stay warm and cozy, I opted for a thing that was alllll about Mila. I took her to Kennywood. In the cold and rain.

BEST DECISION EVER.

There was nobody there. You could walk on to absolutely any ride, including The Phantom. It was an ideal situation for a small child who hadn't been there in two years and suddenly found herself tall enough to ride some new things. The only problem is that somewhere along the way, the kid who constantly gets yelled at for doing dangerous/stupid stuff was like, "I don't think it's safe to ride that."

Y'all, I had to bribe the kid to ride anything that wasn't in Kiddie Land. I actually never managed to drag her onto the Racer, and she only rode the Jackrabbit once. For what it's worth, she yelled, "This was a very bad idea!" while we were going down a hill on the Jackrabbit.

And then Mila met the Exterminator. For those who haven't been issued a frequent flyer card by the fine people of Kennywood, the Exterminator is essentially a small indoor roller coaster. It doesn't require tight seatbelts because there's no flipping and the hills are small, but it is pitch black in that building. Oh, and it spins. The Exterminator Spins.

Have I ever mentioned that my children COMPLETELY ruined my ability to spin? I can't even turn around quickly without getting nauseous at this point. It wasn't a thing at all before kids, but then after Alexis was born, I suddenly had motion sickness from spinning. And then Mila. HOOBOY, MILA. After that child was born, I was TOAST. It's so bad. The smallest spin sends me into misery for days. Literally. I get nauseous and yucky and it doesn't go away for usually 2-3 days.

I sort of forgot about the spinning, so like an idiot I tricked Mila into riding the Exterminator. I remembered that it spins about .000001 seconds too late and wow did things get ugly.

And then Mila loved it. LOVED IT. It was the only "big ride" she was interested in and she asked to on again and again and DAMMIT. It was her birthday! How do I say no on her birthday!

I'm never recovering.

I did get even, though. I mean, sort of. I would have rather not get even, but whatever.

In case you missed the news, the jerkwads at Kennywood took away some rides over the winter. They did it without warning. Nobody got a chance to say goodbye. One of those rides was the Kangaroo, which is basically the greatest old ride that ever existed. It has a tiny bit of spinning action, but I can actually handle it since it's a big circle. Also, it has always been Mila's favorite. She has ridden it hundreds of times and I could literally take the child to Kennywood just to ride the Kangaroo. She loves it with all of her heart.

I had told her the Kangaroo was gone, for what it's worth. Kennywood owes me for the pain and suffering that was involved with breaking that news to Mila, but whatever. She knew. And yet. When we walked past the spot where The Kangaroo belongs, Mila froze in her tracks. She took in the fact that they've done nothing with the space. It is literally a concrete slab surrounded by a spot to queue for a ride. They just ... dismantled the ride and left everything else in place.

Mila stared at that obscenity and burst into tears. She sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. Which, THANKS, KENNYWOOD. YOU MADE MY KID SAD ON HER BIRTHDAY. But then it got worse. Mila, between sobs, sputtered the words, "They took away my childhood."

She's right, you know. That ride was her childhood. And now it's gone.

Article originally appeared on burgh baby (http://www.theburghbaby.com/).
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