And there it is. Day three hundred sixty-five. I started titling blog posts with the number of days since the world shut down perhaps a bit later than some other people started counting the shut down. First came the WHO's declaration that it was a global pandemic. The following Friday, Pennsylvania schools were shut down. An hour later, my office announced we'd be switching to remote "for the next two weeks." But, I didn't start counting then. Partly I didn't start because some things about life stayed exactly the same.
For example, even though all things school-related were stopped, high school cheerleading tryouts still continued. In retrospect, that was a sign. The organization has continued to fail to respect the community impact of their actions, all the way up to an awards banquet a few weeks ago with 75+ unmasked cheerleaders and parents crammed into a hotel banquet space. Maybe nothing bad will happen, but every time people refuse to stay apart, all I can think about is the potential impact on the people who are trying.
The 500,000+ who have died aren't necessarily the ones who went to banquets and sat at a table with a mom from another neighborhood. Many of them were doing what they could to care for their community, but those who didn't caused the spread.
ANYWAY, in the very early days, I don't think any of us really understood what we were up against. I certainly didn't. We spent the weekend after the world closed rushing around to prepare for the world to be closed. There was even a trip to Five Below to get a bunch of crafting supplies because I had no idea how I would keep Mila entertained while I worked from home for two whole weeks.
HAHAHAHAHALOLOLOLZZZZ. 52 weeks later, I can say it's not that hard. She's actually pretty good about entertaining herself, though she is bound to interrupt a meeting or two here and there.
So we did a lot of running around early on, but then we locked down. And locked down. And locked down. Somewhere along the way we loosened up slightly. I can honestly say this has been the hardest year ever for choices. Everything is a choice, everything is a risk, everything is about balancing risk with reward. Should Alexis attend dance classes at the studio, with proper social distancing and masks in place, or is it better that she attend via Zoom? Should the girls be in school? Is it okay for Mila to participate in soccer? What if they're not wearing masks while they play? What if the parents gather in a small huddle, unmasked, to chat?
So many points of conflict. So many choices.
So much "No."
I have never, ever said "No" as much as I have this year. The wild thing is that it doesn't seem to bother the girls as much as it does me. Sometimes Alexis almost seems relieved when I intervene and declare that she cannot/will not be doing something. Mila is firmly on the side of thinking it just makes sense to keep everyone safe, so of course she's totally cool with not seeing all of her friends. She'll see them soon enough, if not sooner via Zoom.
I wish all of us parents had been on the same page this year. The fact that they weren't created so many of those uncomfortable "No" moments. That said, I know we're all doing the best we can to mitigate risks and manage expectations and keep our kids safe. It hasn't been fun in any way, shape, or form, but little windows of it have been good.
Like, I now know that the neighbors with kids close to Mila's age are most excellent people. I've been able to let Mila play outside with the girls because we have mutual agreement that the kids have to stay outside and ... they just wear masks. The adults don't have to remind them, by the way. They just do it because they don't want to get each other sick. It's such a simple silent agreement, but so valuable. And I'm hugely grateful for parents who have addressed things in a way similar to us - let's just be cautious so we don't get each other sick.
And then there's the others who haven't. Besides saying "No" entirely too much, that's been the hardest thing. This has been the year of finding out who may seem to be a good person, but at the end of the day is only concerned with themselves. Letting teens go out to dinner in groups, hosting parties, having large gatherings of adults, going out in public even as someone at their house is waiting out a positive COVID test ... so much of it has happened. So much of it has proven just how selfish some people can be.
And that's going to be the thing that's hard to forget. There is a definite division in my world and it's a division between people who truly want the best for everyone around them and those who have proven they don't care. That is the thing that is going to stick.