There's a really weird project that has been going on around these parts. Amongst the ripping out of disgusting carpet and the painting and all of the other 5000 home improvement projects that are in varying stages of not-done, Alexis has quietly been making progress on emptying out the playroom.
Which, yeah, apparently I'm giving up the glory that is the playroom?
It's actually a first floor master bedroom, which we've never needed as a first floor master bedroom because there is a second floor master bedroom that works just fine. Our house is weird with oddly-sized and shaped rooms and whatever. It is what it is, but it includes a large room in the corner of the first floor that is intended to be a bedroom but is in effect completely forgotten. Toys have gathered there for the past 10 years. Alexis long ago stopped "playing" in there because she's too cool, but Mila continues to think it's a pretty great room for about 10 minutes every few months when she remembers it exists. Basically, it's turned into toy storage.
So. Whatever.
Alexis wants to claim it as her bedroom.
I'm fine with this plan because then Mila can claim Alexis' current bedroom, which has a pretty fantastic built-in loft and maybe she'll actually sleep in that bed? MAYBE? I have zero actual hopes of that, but it can't hurt to try.
So. Everybody is moving around, but first there is the matter of the toy storage that has to end. Alexis is mostly taking on this project, which is a lot of sorting. Some things go to the trash, others need to be donated, and still others need to be sold. Alexis has bins and a general ability to figure out what each toy's destiny should be. I trust her with it because she has watched every Toy Story movie about 98234573 times.
This whole project has been going on for over two months already because nobody actually wants to do the work. Alexis makes slow and steady progress and nobody helps her, is what I'm saying. Occasionally I wander in there and grab a few things to donate, but I can only take credit for a very small part of what has been done.
I can take credit for this, though.
DING DONG, THE EVIL BITCH IS DEAD.
I took that photo a while ago ... November 7th to be exact. I had forgotten about it, but then I was looking for something in the archives of this space and came across its origin story.
Almost exactly 4 years. And its birth and death coincided with another horror story. Ahem.
ANYWAY. The re-discovery of Satan's Doll was a moment worthy of much embarrassment. I was digging through piles of toys and found her and I ... uh ... forgot how scary she is. Or she's scarier with totally dead eyes than she is with the creepy glowing eyes? I don't know, I just know I was LEGIT startled when I found her and that is my explanation for why I flung her across the room.
I'm going to guess that she had been sitting in the box where I found her for a while. Her batteries had enough time to swell a bit, and I'm guessing that me throwing her led to her batteries breaking open once and for all. When I went to turn her on (because I hate myself, of course), I immediately noticed battery goo gooping its way around and I think it had just started in those few moments. For reasons I cannot begin to explain, I tried to clean her up, but it was too late. The leaking battery acid had done its damage. When I finally did flip the power switch with new batteries installed, the doll lit up for a brief moment, let out a pitiful howl that can only be compared to the sound of a hellmouth closing, and that was that. The doll was completely dead.
I threw it away. It will likely haunt me in my nightmares for years to come as punishment, but I'm willing to pay that price to not ever come across it while digging through boxes ever again.
So long, Satan's Doll. It was not nice seeing you.