Defeeted by the Shoe Houdini
Thursday, August 2, 2018
burghbaby

I would like the record to show that today is the day that I was officially defeeted.

That's not a misspelling. I. Am. Defeeted.

Mila has always had a thing with shoes. She LOVES them very much. She would own all of the shoes if given the chance. High heels and boots and flip flops and they're all just so great. Shoes rule, you guys! BUT NOT ON HER FEET.

It's one of life's greatest mysteries. The child who can't take a single step towards the door when I'm in a hurry in the morning magically can make shoes vanish like ::poof::. It's wild. One second there are shoes on her feet; the next second you have to travel to West Virginia to find where she stashed her shoes. She's faster than Dash from The Incredibles when it comes to making shoes vanish.

She's the Shoe Houdini.

The way I've typically dealt with her barefoot tendencies is to: 1) Fight a lot. 2) Buy her a lot of cheap shoes because she will wear NEW shoes. For a day. 3) Fight a lot. Summer is great because I can sometimes trick her with flip flops, but no more.

Today is the day when I stopped fighting and let the kid walk around the neighborhood barefoot. There's no going back now. She's destined to be a hillbilly with her crazy hair, dirty face, and bare feet. Truly, though, my biggest worry is that I don't know what she's going to do with all this new extra time on her hands. Now that she won't be spending half of her life taking her shoes off and hiding them, Mila will need a new hobby.

I hope it doesn't involve taking off clothing.

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