I walked into Alexis' closet, reached high up on the shelf, and grabbed the white shirt I had hidden deep in the darkest corners. Suddenly, I understood it. Suddenly, I realized it was a good thing.
Alexis loves that white shirt. She loves it so much she has worn it until it's tattered and gray, and really only a shadow of the shirt it used to be. It makes me CRAZY that she loves stuff until it is tattered and no longer deserves to be loved.
I don't.
I carry a Coach handbag. It's old, pre-dating even Alexis, but there was a long gap when I didn't use it, so it has endured. It was purchased on clearance at the Coach Outlet, but that's not the point. It's a Coach handbag. I noticed a few days ago that the leather is just starting to crack.
It's time for it to retire.
Alexis would disagree.
The scars of growing up poor run deep. They linger and change everything about how you view the world, including how you view things. I view name brand as Important. FAR more Important than most people do. It's one of those things that distinguish the Haves from the Have Nots.
Dress for the life you want, not the life that you have.
I started it all in high school, when I had enough income from babysitting and part-time jobs to fund my own wardrobe. From that time forth, I haven't worn a single stitch of clothing from KMart or Walmart. Even Target is iffy because you have to dress for the life you want, not the life that you have.
Name brands are that thing you can do when you are poor to signify "I don't belong here." If I walked through the trailer park, the LITERAL trailer park where I grew up, while wearing Guess jeans and a Bongo t-shirt, I was telling the world "I don't belong here." I had the brand name gear to prove it. Nobody can tell if something came off the clearance rack, so they didn't know that the jeans cost less than some crappy KMart jeans. They just knew I had that triangle on my behind. It was a symbol of being out of place.
But the things don't just have to be name brand -- they have to look new. If there is a stain on that Bongo t-shirt, people might know it's a hand-me-down. PITCH IT. If there is a worn spot on those Guess jeans, people might figure out that they are a few years old. STOP WEARING THEM. Even a loose thread on a sweater is a cause for retirement.
That theory lingers. I still stick to brand names, even as I make sure I never pay full price. My things have to be in new-appearing condition. It's a status symbol. It's my way of dressing for the life I want, not the life that I had.
Alexis doesn't have those scars. Cute clothes are cute clothes and if she loves something, she wants to wear it and wear it and wear it.
I returned the tattered white shirt I had hidden from Alexis because she doesn't have those scars. I hope she never does.