I’ve mentioned that Mila is very literally a “Tiny Human,” and that’s still true. She’s just … tiny. She’s short for her age, but she’s also slender and LOOK, I FEED HER, OKAY?
I swear I do.
Mila is a decent eater, too. I have no idea where she hides all the junk she consumes, but constantly bouncing probably burns a lot of calories, so. While Mila isn’t a health food nut like her sister, she mostly eats what I put in front of her. She’s maybe slightly better than average in her willingness to eat? I mean, she eats tofu like crazy and will eat salad and most vegetables, but she’s going to ask for mac-n-cheese if you give her a choice in the matter.
When Mila likes a food, she REALLY likes it. She goes all in. Mac-n-cheese is top of that list right now. She would eat it for every meal of every day, which, ME TOO! It’s a shame that can’t be a thing. It should definitely be a thing. But since Mila tends to dedicate her life to a particular food, I like to interrupt that habit. You want mac-n-cheese for every meal? That’s cool. I’m going to offer you something you like just as much and watch your little head explode.
There is such a thing as unicorn pudding. It is bright pink and blue and allegedly has sparkles in it, but really it’s just a weirdly dyed pudding in a cup. I bought it once on a whim. Ever since, Mila has been OBSESSED. It’s all good! I like that she’s obsessed. Changing up her snacking habits is good. There’s dairy and stuff in those freakishly bright pudding cups, so I’m game for making it a regular purchase just so Mila has more things that I know for a fact she will eat.
I CAN’T FIND THE DAMN UNICORN PUDDING.
Apparently Mila wasn’t the only kid who liked it? It went from being on a shelf at the front of a Walmart to being invisible. I have now checked … I can’t admit in writing how many different stores I’ve gone to in search of the magical unicorn pudding. It’s … a lot. More than is sane. I’ve even tried going only to stores that show available stock online, but IT’S A LIE. THEY DON’T HAVE IT. I tried buying it on my phone and then learned they were going to give me plain vanilla when I went to pick it up. I mean, I’ve made a job out of trying to find more of the dumb pudding.
So if you’re in your 20s and thinking about maybe having kids someday, I think you should know that there eventually may come a time when you spend a Saturday night trying to find crappy unicorn pudding. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS. You have terrible ideas. And no life.
(But Mila really loves that pudding. So.)