There is procrastination, and then there is waiting. Just in case.
I do both really well.
But clicking the little "submit" button to order the necklace, that was definitely part of the waiting game. We knew how we wanted to tell Alexis. It had been figured out for weeks, but never spoken out loud. More importantly, no commitment was made.
Just in case.
Even when it became clear that It Was Time, I hesitated for yet another week. I was willing to risk having all sorts of plans fall apart because just in case. Even after that hesitation, I figured out how I would deal just in case. I checked out the order cancellation policy, the return policy, and had a third backup plan. Because SERIOUSLY just in case.
You don't know that you're holding your breath until that moment you exhale, and I definitely exhaled as Alexis opened that tiny box. The first step in a chain of events was done.
But then I held my breath for another week. While Alexis bounced around, constantly wearing her necklace and showing it to everyone who would pay attention to her words for even a millisecond, I held my breath.
That procrastination thing and that just in case thing sometimes get intertwined, so doctors appointments are running a bit behind schedule. That's to say, I waited until it wasn't possible to wait another minute before I scheduled the first one, so they are all going to be a week behind the usual.
So, we told Alexis before anyone had heard a heartbeat. Risky business, that.
But then that appointment came to pass and everything was fine. Everything was perfect.
You don't know that you're holding your breath until that moment you exhale.
Now we go back to holding our breath. Just in case.