I have no idea why it didn't occur to me sooner, but after one trip to Loving Hut, I knew I had a mission.
Fried Tofu.
I know. Fried Tofu sounds like the most lunatic vegetarian sort of thing possible, but it really is good. Because FRIED.
FRIED is the key to destroying the overly healthy thing as well as all of the lunatic. Think of it as a Fried Twinkie, but without all the confusion associated with trying to figure out who in the world first thought to fry a Twinkie.
Fried Tofu
1 package (14 ounces) extra firm tofu
3 heaping tablespoons flour
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1. Squish the excess water out of the tofu by wrapping it in paper towels and placing it between two plates then squeezing. Or use a tofu press, if you're fancier than me.
2. Turn the tofu on its side then cut it into thirds. Now lay it back down flat and cut it into four even squares. After that, it's triangle time. In this photo, it is already cut. There are three identical pieces stacked each time you see a triangle.
3. Place the flour, egg, and panko each in a shallow bowl. Mix the salt and pepper in with the panko.
4. Coat each little triangle in the flour first, then the egg, and finally the panko bread crumbs.
5. Heat half of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over high heat. Once the oil is hot, reduce the heat to medium and add as much tofu as will fit. Cook it one to two minutes per side or until golden brown. Keep going until all of the tofu is cooked. Change the oil about halfway through, or whenever the oil and stray panko crumbs in your skillet starts to turn black and gross.
6. Serve with some sort of sauce. I like duck sauce, but Alexis and the husband prefer something saltier like sesame dipping sauce or plain old soy sauce.