If there is one purchase that we've made in Alexis' 6+ years of life that was worth EVERY FREAKIN CENT, it would be her Kindle Fire. It's like a Mobile Alexis Entertainment System. I pretty much want to make out with it every time she spends a few hours watching a movie, reading books, or playing games on it. I won't make out with it, though, because then I'd have to take it away from Alexis and OVER MY DEAD BODY. Don't anybody separate that kid from her Mobile Entertainment System because that thing brings me great joy. And silence.
Did I mention that we spent $200 and ended up getting silence in return? IS THERE A BETTER WAY TO SPEND YOUR MONEY?
I think not.
(I'm only slightly annoyed that the one we bought her last November is now $100 on Amazon. Only slightly.)
In setting up Alexis' Kindle Fire, I made a decision. I decided, several months ago, that I would leave the dictionary on it that came with it. Everybody needs a dictionary, right? It's just a good thing to have, even if it is an early version of an eReader dictionary and isn't as functional as I would like. By that I mean it doesn't have a search function, so you have to page through it to find words. It's time consuming, to say the least.
Which is why when Alexis asked what the "weird book on her Kindle" was, I just picked a random page for my demonstration. Never before had the child paid any attention to her dictionary, so I thought I was about to make it rain Christmas Joy in October. A book! With words! And more words! Alexis LOVES words!
I flipped to a word I knew she already has in her mental toolbox so that I could demonstrate the power and majesty that comes with knowing how to use the dictionary.
Eraser.
"You know what an eraser is, right?" I asked Alexis.
"Yes! It's a thing you use to erase pencil!" she replied. She was close enough for government work, but I still went ahead and read the dictionary definition to her.
The dictionary defined "eraser" as "One that erases, especially an implement, such as a piece of rubber or a pad of felt, used for erasing marks made by pencil or chalk." I read the definition to Alexis ... and then watched as her brain exploded all over the kitchen.
It should be noted that the child was exhausted at this point in time. OBVIOUSLY. She's not usually this volatile, but HOOBOY did that definition piss her off.
I present video evidence of her pissedoffedness. For what it's worth, Alexis gave me permission to post this video after spending a solid ten minutes laughing at herself when she watched it tonight. That made me feel a lot less bad about the fact that I only videotaped it for my own amusement, but then thought it was so funny it needed to be shared. With the entire internet.
Anyway. Video evidence that Alexis was M-A-D.
So, let's sum.
It really, really, REALLY pisses my kid off when she asks you what a word means and you define it using more words she doesn't know. I guess that means we can scratch "dictionary editor" off of her career goals list.
And college professor.
And lawyer.
And sooooooo many other things.