I have been to Las Vegas a bunch of times, but only ever for work. When you travel to a place for work, sometimes you get to find out what's around and explore a bit, but not always. Somehow, I've never gotten to actually SEE Vegas, unless you count the inside of a conference center.
Which, I don't.
Even with my limited life experience, I knew what was going to happen when I plopped Alexis down in the middle of The Strip. That girl was born with a Werther's in her pocket and a "Tsk tsk" on her lips. There's a long list of reasons I refer to her as Grandma Alexis and she will fully admit every one of them is accurate.
Vegas definitely wasn't going to be her kind of place.
The short version of how things played out is that I was right; It's definitely not her place. The longer version involves a slow process where things worthy of her disapproval piled one on top of the other. It started with the plane full of Dudebros on the way there. Each "Duuuuuude" and "Broooo" she heard was countered with an eyeroll and THERE WERE A LOT. The plane was full of 20-something guys who were pounding shots so they'd be ready to hit the ground running. Between the swearing, which oddly makes Alexis uncomfortable, and the awful stories they were telling each other, she was done.
There was an upside to the large mass of dumb boys, though. Alexis swore to never EVER date a Dudebro. She made me swear to tell her if she ever fell for a guy who was that dumb. So, victory!
Once we arrived in Vegas, I actually expected Alexis to take a bit of liking to the place. She looooooves Times Square. The Strip isn't that different, really. But while Alexis liked the crowds and lights and general crazy, she super didn't like that everyone was walking around with drinks. She was all in for the music that blared everywhere, but why must there be a woman wearing a bikini standing there?
Oh, the bikinis. There were actually very few mostly naked women standing around for photos (maybe because it was too hot?), but once Alexis spotted a pair, her eyes fell right on out of her head. I actually spotted them before she did, so I had the pleasure of watching her face as she initially spotted them.
It was amazing.
I wish I had video, actually. It was THAT amazing.
I don't know why it's so fun to watch Grandma Alexis cluck, but it totally is. I made it even more fun by explaining that sometimes nudity is a feminist act. It didn't stop her from being flabbergasted when there was a mostly naked woman dancing on top of a bar in one casino, but it did help her remember to keep her disapproving face put away. More than ever, I think she fully appreciates that there is more than one way to successfully venture through life.
On our last day wandering around, I asked Alexis if she would want to return to Vegas at any point. She was pretty sure that "It's okay, but I'd rather go other places." Between the heat and the drinking and the swearing and the nudity, it's just not her thing. But, as she explained why it wasn't her kind of place, she said, "You know who would love it here, though? Mila. Mila would feel like she's found her people."
Yes.
That.
