"Whatcha doing, momma?" Alexis asked.
"I'm looking at pageant photos," I replied. That's EXACTLY what I was doing because, well, OBVIOUSLY.
"I wanna see!" Alexis enthusiastically chipped in.
So I turned my phone to the side so that she could look at the Miss Universe gowns (?) with me. I didn't preface the moment or give her any words of warning. I was just looking at gowns (?) that I find fantastic, in many different ways.
(If you didn't click the link, go. Seriously, go now. I will wait. GO. LOOK.)
As we began to scroll down the page, Alexis turned to me and said, "I want to be in pageants."
"Oh," I replied. I reserved comment, although I have PLENTY OF THEM OMG. See that? I did learn from the whole cheerleading thing! Don't comment and just let the kid make up her own mind on her own terms. It's better that way.
As we paged further and further down, I realized that I should show Alexis Miss USA. If she wants to be in pageants, that's exactly the gown (?) she would wear. (I keep using question marks because I truly don't know whether to call the outfits "gowns" or "outfits" or "art" or what. I don't even know that "clothes" is appropriate in all cases.)
We made our way to the very bottom of the page and Alexis' eyes grew wide as she looked at Miss USA. Her lip quivered and her face contorted as she finally found the words she wanted.
"I am NEVER EVER going to be in pageants. EVER. You can't make me," she said.
Well, that was easy.
