Fun fact: Your house will gain an extra thousand square feet if you take a one-pound kitten home and lose track of it for .000000007 seconds.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Saturday after we picked up the still-not-named kitten up from the Animal Rescue League, there was much watching and oohing and aahing and all of that stuff. Alexis was and is and will probably always be smitten. Ali and Max were all sorts of WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND DO YOU REALIZE YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME? Cody and Penny were there to let us know that they were grateful that we had returned home with a tasty snack.
So, of course, once everyone went to bed, I sat on the couch and let the kitten sleep on me. She had earned that very special two hours of total and complete quiet. But, eventually I had to get up.
I managed to keep the kitten within view for very nearly every second while I walked over to the dryer to grab a pair of pajamas. Then there was that part where I had to pull pajamas over my head and BOOM.
ABRACADABRA, VANISHING CAT GO POOOOF!
I wasn't particularily worried about it. I figured she was under the couch or in the curtains or whatever. So, I settled back into my butt groove on the couch and did a little work. Half an hour later, my lap was still empty and I still hadn't seen so much as a kitten shadow.
Hrm.
Time to search.
It was midnight by then and everyone was sound asleep, so I set out to search like a ninja. I peered under couches, lifted up pillows, checked under tables, and even verified that the dollhouse was vacant.
Nothing.
I grabbed a flashlight and broadened my search area. I wound my way all over the entire house, absolutely certain that I was just moments away from having a kitten jump out of a dark corner to shout "BOO!"
But ... nothing.
I started to wonder if I had imagined the kitten thing. The delusion might have been a result of me hitting my head on the underside of a table, but I can't be sure. The good news was that I had cell phone pics that confirmed that the kitten was indeed real.
And really lost.
I searched and I searched and I searched, stubbing my toe on the stairs, tripping over a baby gate that currently acts as a dog containment device, and poking my flashlight in all of the dark corners of the house that I pretend not to know exist because OMG DO I SUCK AT DUSTING.
I need to unremember that part. I'll work on that.
Anyway, I checked every single room in the house, tried to bribe the dogs and other cats into helping me locate the new fuzzball, and nothing. NOTHING. She was absolutely nowhere.
I couldn't go 24 hours without losing Powder's replacement. You know, the other cat I've lost in my life. I decided to just go to bed and hope that she would appear in the morning. I turned off all of the lights and began stumbling my way upstairs.
She was sitting right smack in the middle of the stairs.
Her eyes lit up and her expression said, "Hey! I know you!" and she meowed to be picked up.
I'm thinking after I made her sit in the Barbie car, she's wishing she had run away while she had the chance.