I Officially Have a Content Editor
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
burghbaby

Someone explained the internet to Alexis.

I mean, I know I explained it to her, but I did it within the context of "This is what I want you to know about the internet because there will be no googling 'Justin Bieber nude,' thank you very much." Just so we're all on the same page, Alexis now knows that Disney.com/games only works if your homework is done, monsterhigh.com has a super secret password that you only get if you manage to not annoy your mom for a solid eight hours, and nick.com doesn't work on Dell computers. It's the weirdest thing. Ahem.

If anyone informs her otherwise, there will be hell to pay. DO YOU HEAR ME? HELL. TO. PAY.

Anyway, Alexis seemingly understands the consumer side of the internet, but she also seemingly understands WAY more about the other side of things than I explained. She has completely figured out that I have the ability to put a photograph on the internet for other people to see.

This bit of knowledge has given her power.

For the past week, Alexis has come up with some sort of shenanigans every single day, asked me to take a photo, and then demanded that I post it to the internet. It has led to moments like this:

Which, see Alexis? I PUT IT ON THE INTERNET. STOP ASKING.

There was also this:

Don't ask. I didn't understand it at the time and I still don't understand it now. I'm just a servant who lives to please my dear Alexis. She says jump, I say, "How high?"

To be honest, the fact that she understands how the whole creating-content-for-the-internet thing works is a a teensy bit fun. I'm looking forward to seeing what she'll come up with up until she gets bored of the whole thing and moves on to torturing cats or making fart noises with her armpits or whatever it is that 5-year olds are supposed to do with their free time.

There's a catch, though.

Alexis knows this URL. She knows that the photos I post to the internet are visible if you type in this URL. She knows that she can tell her friends to go to this URL and that they can see photographs of her here.

So, uh, if you're one of the parents of my kid's classmates, hi! I exploit my kid here! But it's totally with her permission!

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