I Prefer My Monsters In October
Thursday, September 13, 2018
burghbaby

If the algorithm wasn't total crap, I would say that anybody who follows me on Instagram already knows about this.

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But the algorithm is crap, so maybe you missed the part where I was nearly murdered by a giant spider while clearing some of the water plants from the pond.

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For perspective, that green plant there is about the size of my head. That rock is about six inches thick. THAT MONSTER IS GINORMOUS.

 

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Obviously, I couldn't notice a man-eating spider by the pond and not share the horror with the rest of the family, so of course I called in reinforcements to KILL IT WITH FIRE.

(I'm kind of not kidding about it needing to die. It was obviously hunting frogs and there are frogs in that pond smaller than that spider. NOT ON MY WATCH. Frogs win over spiders.)

The reinforcements brought Mila, who you may recall loves all creatures no matter what. She has made friends with spiders in the past, which ugh. I mean, I'm all for being kind to creatures, but there has to be a line somewhere.

What I expected to have happen when Mila showed up was for her to go, "Awwwww!" and try to pick it up. Because that's what she does ALL OF THE TIME. Spiders and ants and stink bugs, oh my. They're all cute and cuddly according to the youngest member of our clan. We can't all be super smart, you know?

So, Mila walked up. I pointed to her new friend. Mila leaned in closer then turned to me and said, "That is NOT appropriate."

WHAT SHE SAID.

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