I knew it was going to be a pretty good Halloween when it was preceded by sweet dreams involving Tom Brady making his sad face. Er, wait. That wasn't a dream? EVEN BETTER!
Anyway, I love Halloween, in case you hadn't noticed. While Karma has a sick sense of humor and sent me a kid who is the anti-me in so many ways, she was kind enough to give me a kid who frequently has said, and this is a direct quote, "I looooove Halloween!" I don't think a love of the spooktacular is contagious, but maybe it is genetic. In that case, I hit the genetic lottery when it comes to Halloween awesomeness.
Obviously.
I'd like to state for the record that I had absolutely nothing to do with Alexis' costume choice this year. I actually haven't been permitted to have an opinion in the matter since she learned to talk. If I were allowed to have an opinion, I'd go with costumes that are easy to find. Instead, I end up with a kid who has a very specific vision of what she wants and IT DOES NOT EXIST. Sixteen stores and four catalogs later, I usually manage to convince her to go with Plan B, which is what that blue dress was. She wanted red, gosh darn it. RED. With gold and pearls and sequins and all sorts of things that just weren't happening. Fortunately, when faced with the last blue dress in her size at TJMaxx, she decided it wasn't worth looking any further.
(If anybody ever tells her that my sewing machine does so work for making clothes and costumes, I WILL CUT YOU. Shhhhh!)
So Alexis wanted to be a vampire, and I was totally OK with it once we agreed on a dress. All that was left to deal with was convincing her to let me make her hair awesome like the kid in Interview with a Vampire. I got halfway there before she lost patience with me making her curls springer than usual. Halfway was enough for me to realize the kid has the most perfect hair ever. EVER.
I've never been prouder.
The thing with Alexis' costume choice this year is that it made for a bit of . . . let's call it "controversy." She wore it to dance class last week, just as she was supposed to. As she stood in the next room shaking her groove thang to Purple People Eater, I had the fantastic privilege of listening to a few of the other parents and grandparents make sweeping judgements about every kid in the dance class.
Apparently they are not aware that other people can hear them when they say words out loud in a small room.
I heard all about how the Jasmine costume was too whorish (Jasmine's belly sticks out. IT JUST DOES. If you're turning that into something sexual when a 4-year old is the person in question, it's on you. Not the kid. YOU. The kid has no clue.). I heard about how the ballerina dancer costume was lame (Actually, it's genius. Convincing a kid that she should wear stuff you already own? ALWAYS GENIUS.). And then there was my little vampire.
"There is no way I'd let that young of a kid wear something so awful," one grandparent said.
"It's completely inappropriate for someone that age," a parent replied.
"Little kids shouldn't be wearing scary costumes. That's all there is to it," another said.
I didn't bother to say anything to them. People who are too dumb to realize that the other humans in the room can hear them aren't worth my time. Besides, anybody remember those plastic masks from the 80's? Now THOSE were the creepiest Halloween costumes that ever existed. I was Strawberry Shortcake one year and I guarantee the black holes where I was supposed to use to see out of the permanently frozen smiling face were WAY creepier than this.
That? That is just plain AWESOME.
Oh, and she is SO totally my kid. She found a creepy doll hanging out in the Halloween decorations and she did what I would absolutely do if I had fangs.
Genetics FTW!
