If Only Live Nation Had Figured Out This Whole "Concert Venue" Thing
Thursday, August 8, 2013
burghbaby

Random things sometimes fall from the sky and land in my lap. That is how it came to be that I went to Star Lake (aka Coca-Cola Star Lake Amphitheatre, aka First Niagra Pavilion, aka Post Gazette Pavilion aka WHY CAN'T WE JUST CALL IT STAR LAKE?) THREE times this summer.

That's more than I've gone in the several past few years combined.

But random being what it is, I kept ending up there.

And I kept ending up frustrated by the same issue. What the heck are people allowed to take inside?

Here, let me just show you.

Good luck finding that list anywhere else, by the way. I took that photo at the entrance, which is seemingly the only place that anyone thinks it needs to be. Sure ... I'll drive 20+ miles outside of Pittsburgh for a concert, walk a mile across an uneven gravel parking lot, and THEN find out I can't take my stuff inside. That's totally reasonable.

Ahem.

Anyway, because I've been there three times this year as well as once last year, I was pretty familiar with that camera policy. No pro cameras. Fine. I won't bother to tell the Powers That Be that it's not the camera that makes it professional, it's the person pushing the buttons, but WHATEVER. What do I know about cameras?

Oh, wait. I know that the fine print below the rule is total crap. "No lenses longer than three inches." Ummmmmm ... my wide angle lens (the lens I use for chalk portraits) is three inches long and is completely worthless at a concert, unless I'm trying to take a photograph of the ENTIRE AUDIENCE. If the goal is to prevent people from having too much zoom power, back away from the DSLRs. My long lens, which is WAY long, only goes to 300mm. That's not all that much zooming. In fact, Alexis' $20 point and shoot camera can zoom in significantly further than my not-$20 DSLR.

Whatever. I don't really know what the goal of the camera policy might be. It was clearly written by someone who doesn't know crap about cameras. (The goal can't be to prevent someone from blocking another concert goer's view because TABLETS ARE ALLOWED OMG I HATE YOU IF YOU TAKE PHOTOS AT A CONCERT WITH YOUR IPAD. I DO. i HATE YOU. I'M NOT EVEN SORRY ABOUT IT.)

In a similar vein, whoever is in charge of training the staff at Star Lake (you can't make me call it First Niagra Pavilion! You CAN'T!), knows absolutely crap about how to train. I know that because I know that how that whole "no pro cameras" thing is enforced varies based on who is standing there checking your stuff.

For the first time this summer, I experienced that inconsistent training stuff first-hand. I walked up to the bag check for the Maroon 5 concert and was promptly told I couldn't take my camera in. "You'll have to check that," the woman told me.

"What?" I said. "It's not a professional camera," I continued.

For the record, it wasn't. I took my Canon T2i, which is the camera that every soccer mom in the land bought about two years ago. It's considered a "prosumer" camera, meaning it was designed for wanna-bes. It ain't professional. It especially ain't professional when it has the kit lens on it, which is what I had.

(Don't ask questions around that lens stuff, camera geeks. I ain't telling you my secrets. AHEM.)

I know better than to argue with someone who is just trying to do their job, fortunately, so I just sort of rolled my eyes at the poorly trained employee and walked towards the check line. Apparently, I was going to allow a total stranger to hold onto my preshussssss during the concert. It was either that or walk REALLY far back to the car, which wasn't really an option because OMG TRAFFIC. We had already missed the opening act and nearly all of Kelly Clarkson.

The thing about checking my camera is that EVERYBODY WAS CHECKING EVERYTHING. The line was deep and it was full of people with backpacks, larger bags, draw string bags (because of that whole "not trained" thing, people were being told they couldn't take them in), and every possible other type of bag imaginable. As I stood there pondering how much safer I felt knowing that the lady with the fourteen blush containers and giant box of tampons was being stripped of her purse, I realized that the really long line of dangerous purse-toting criminals wasn't moving.

At all.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Kelly was singing her heart out and I was missing it. All of it.

So I did what any responsible adult who believes in rules would do, I walked to another entrance. And played stupid.

And walked right through the gate with my contraband camera in hand.

WHOOPS.

(That security guard checked it. Totally. She said it was OK. SOOOO.)

And then I spent the entire concert trying to dodge security. WEEEEEEE!

The thing is that there was an employee with blond hair who very clearly was all, "I'll allow it." She saw the camera and said nothing. But then there was a guy with dark hair who was all, "Put that away, please." He very clearly wasn't OK with it. Then there was the lady with brown hair who was cool with it.

I'm pretty sure I looked like a crazy person as I tucked my camera away, ripped it out and took a photo, and then tucked it away again. OVER AND OVER. AND OVER.

I haven't been so committed to hiding something since high school when I used to sneak out of the house at night. Wait. What? Me? Sneak out? I don't know what you're talking about.

Anyway, I have no point other than to say I wish the "fine folks" at Live Nation would learn how to communicate. Post the rules on the website, create a section for that sort of stuff on the Facebook page, and for the love of all that is as hot as Adam Levine, communicate it all to the staff. THEY NEED TO BE CONSISTENT.

PLEASE.

(I realize that the rules change based on the artist. Truly. I do. Wouldn't it be swell if there was a way to find out that the rules are special for a certain concert before you drive all the way out to Star Lake?)

(Holy first world problem, Batman!)

(Wow. That was a lot of parenthesis in this here post. WHOOPS.)

(One more, just because.)

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