It has been exactly 30 hours since I tried to think of an example that would accurately describe how much of a mess I am and couldn't. It wasn't because it's not true, I'm totally a mess, but rather just that I was too much of a mess to think of an example.
FWIW, I was trying to think of an example because I recently met a co-worker's wife and, frankly, I'm a little scared of her. She has it ALL together. Her kids are cogs in a smoothly running machine and it's amazing and fantastic and ... I totally can't do that. The co-worker and I were talking about how together she has it and I was trying to think of an example that proves she's doing well, especially compared to me. Alas.
THANKS FOR STEPPING UP, MILA.
As if on cue, this morning was the epitome of the monkeys running the circus. Mila woke up right around when she should, but then she was in a weird mood. And by "weird" I mean she didn't want to follow her usual waffle-TV-more-TV routine. It's her thing, so it was odd when instead of curling up on the couch, Mila opted to fling herself to the floor.
Imagine the scene. I had turned on the TV and flipped to Mila's current obsession, Trollhunters. Mila turned to me, yelled that she didn't want to watch TV, and threw herself down and began kicking and screaming. My response was, "That's cool. Don't look at the TV," and then I promptly walked away. Because COME ON. If you don't want to watch TV, then don't! I can't make you! Go play or follow me around the house or do whatever! The kid has legs; she is perfectly capable of using them to shape her morning.
She shaped her morning by continuing the fit. It went on for a LONG time. In fact, I was an hour late for work because I was busy not making a kid watch TV when she didn't want to watch TV.
::blink::blink::
When I finally did manage to get Mila to school, she was wearing mismatched shoes, she hadn't combed her hair, and there was ... something spilled all over my sweater. We're not going to try to figure out what because HOW. I ATE NOTHING. MILA ATE NOTHING SPILLABLE. HOOOOOWWWWW.
It's better not to question these things. Just embrace the mess and carry on.