As we sat on the stoop after a very long day of running errands, all I could think about was how I was ready for bed at that very moment. I swear early bedtimes are wasted on the young.
As if to prove my point, Alexis was dancing and squealing and running and generally acting like a fool hopped up on caffeine and sugar and maybe a few dozen happy pills. It was an hour before she was supposed to go to bed, so each time she leapt into the air and did a triple back flip mixed with some karate moves, I cringed. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. When Alexis has trouble falling asleep, momma has trouble falling asleep. And loses her mind.
I decided my best option was to try to wear her little butt out. I suggested a bike ride around the neighborhood, and sold the idea with promises of unicorns and glitter and shiny things.
Alexis fell for it. Moments later, she sat in our driveway wearing her ridiculous bicycle helmet (we bought it when she was one--I think she's due for a new one that is a little less pink bunny-filled and that, you know, actually fits her big noggin), seated atop her long-ago-too-small-tricycle. While she's a pro at riding her Big Girl Bike all around my kitchen and dining room, she won't ride it outside. She says that it's because of something to do with stopping and Meg, which I think means she hasn't learned to stop on her bike unless there is a Bulldog for her to run into.
We started on our way and I purposely selected a route that was about a mile long. Even if the kid couldn't finish the whole mile pedaling and ramming her knees into the handlebars, I knew I could pick up her slack. Or her and the trike. Whichever. Regardless, I just wanted her to be exhausted.
As we started up the first of several big hills, Alexis began to tell me that she had lots of energy in her belly.
"NO KIDDING," I thought. I was intentionally not helping her get up the hill, just waiting for her to start complaining that she couldn't pedal any further. But she did. And then up another hill, and another.
As we finally started rounding the last curve, Alexis began to show signs of being human after all. She said she needed more energy and that she was starting to get a bit tired. She stopped the trike, slid off the seat, and then proceeded to do 20 jumping jacks.
She declared herself ready, hopped back on the bike, and pedaled another 100 feet or so. Then she said it was time for more jumping jacks. That time she did 50 OF THEM.
"We should have named you Jillian Michaels," I told Alexis.
She didn't hear me. She was too busy running laps around me.
