It started with a business card passed across the glass counter of the jewelry kiosk in the middle of the mall. "Call me," the blond woman said.
Apparently the man who was with her wasn't her husband, but rather her assistant manager. I might have liked to have known that before I spent ten minutes trying to sell the couple an expensive gold necklace, but whatever. The "call me" sounded intriguing.
I made the call a day or two later and quickly found myself standing inside a still-under-construction department store in the middle of Stow, Ohio. "We need an Accessories Department Manager. Interested?" the woman with the blond hair offered.
The pay was better than the kiosk in the mall, so even though I knew nothing about the company, I decided to jump on board.
But.
I don't really know how the whole thing happened, but suddenly I found myself in the blond woman's office listening as she explained that she had offered someone else the Accessories Department Manager position. I would still be making a manager's salary, but without the responsibility.
I was pissed.
Pissed turned into raging mad when the blond woman explained that part of the reason for her decision was that the person who would be taking MY manager position was "a better fit to work Accessories." What the blond woman meant by that is that the woman who would be the department manager wore the entire Accessories Department every time she left her house. Colorful scarves and huge earrings and clanky metal belts were Her Thing.
I rarely managed to put stud earrings in my ears each morning before leaving my apartment.
For what it's worth, the Amazon-sized woman who wore the entire Accessories Department only lasted about a month before she disappeared. She just plain stopped showing up for work, most certainly because she realized she was about to be fired. She SUCKED at her job.
Or, rather, she sucked at MY job. It was mine from that point forward. A year later I was THE Accessories Department Manager for the entire region. I was responsible for training at every store and set up new departments for every store opening. I was widely acknowledged as the best in the company, both because sales were excellent and because I can make an Accessories Department look damn good.
All while never wearing a single thing sold in the department.
I am, perhaps, the most accessories-challenged human on this planet. It's a Herculean effort for me to put together an outfit that is more than jeans and a t-shirt, and you most certainly won't catch me looking all sorts of put-together. I can fake it, but I'm really very incompetent when it comes to fashion.
Which is exactly why this little creature with the curly hair confounds me.
The girl can accessorize and put outfits together better than I can. If you see me wearing something other than a t-shirt and jeans, I guarantee it's an outfit that Alexis either 1) Picked out for me or 2) Approved.
Seriously.
My 6-year old has to approve my outfits before I'm allowed out in public.