Objects In Mirror Must Be Bigger Than A Football
Monday, June 13, 2011
burghbaby

I think there are two types of people when it comes to little dogs. There are the "OOOOH! Wookitwahwiddlepuppysooocute!" people. Then there are the people that grab a football, compare it in size to the dog, and declare the little barking rat worthy of a good kick.

I'm with the second group. If it ain't bigger than a football then it ain't a dog.

Cody stomps all over that line between dog and not-a-dog, a fact which comes to mind every time I'm annoyed with him. He would be so much cooler and less annoying if he were just a tiny bit bigger.

Compared to Jelly, however, Cody is a giant.

Jelly is a Shih Tzu who is visiting for a few days while his humans hang out at the beach and try to pick sand out of body parts that aren't supposed to have sand stuck in them. Jelly is probably five pounds lighter than Cody, significantly less poofy, and much more of a high-strung maniac.

That's saying something. Cody is a high-strung maniac. Jelly is . . . worse. Much worse.

Jelly is afraid of pretty much everything that moves, and a few things that don't. For example, there was a wadded up piece of duct tape on the floor in our family room yesterday. I know that it was there because Jelly felt that the wadded up piece of duct tape was trying to assault him. He would not walk over it, past it, around it . . . nothing. All he would do is sit there staring at it, shaking with fear, and whimpering.

I had mercy on Jelly's poor not-a-dog soul and rescued him from the evil piece of duct tape. He thought I was THE BESTEST HUMAN EVER. Seriously, I got about ten minutes of love for picking up a piece of duct tape. If I could get rewarded like that for everything I pick up in this house, I'd be the most adored person on the planet.

Needless to say, Jelly is afraid of the cats. They are significantly bigger and louder and more prone to movement than the duct tape. Jelly is easily able to completely avoid Powder (he's too lazy to care that The Chinese Rat is visiting) and Ali (she's almost as skittish as Jelly so she has decided to hide until further notice). Max, however, is a whole other story.

Max is The Demon Cat. While he's sweet and cuddly at night, during his waking hours, he's a holy terror. I'm not exaggerating when I say I once had to pull him off the chandelier in our kitchen. He has destroyed a couple of house plants, a bunch of Alexis' necklaces, and is currently attempting to climb high enough to open the patio door. He's the most stubborn, single-minded, devious kitten we've ever had. Personally, I like him.

Jelly does not. Keep in mind, Max is three months old. Jelly is easily three times his size. Jelly should be able to glare at Max, growl, bark, and send him running. Both of the dogs in permanent residence have their, "Bitch, please" routine down pat and can send Max running in under 0.0000003 seconds.

Jelly just tries to run away from The! Big! Bad! Baby! Kitten! That would work out a lot better for him if Max hadn't decided that Jelly is a cat toy.

Yes, a cat toy.

Every single time Max sees Jelly, he lowers his shoulders, shakes his butt, and pounces. Poor Jelly hasn't figured out to just stand still when pounced, so he runs away. Max considers running away a challenge, so then he goes into Hunter Mode and continues to track Jelly, pouncing on him every chance he gets.

When your kitten mistakes a little rat-dog for a cat toy, you KNOW it's not really a dog.

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