There have been a few times in my professional life when I was absolutely convinced I was living in some sort of behavioral research project. There was simply no way the situation could be real. It was just a matter of time before Ahston Kutcher jumped out from behind a wall and yelled, "You've been punk'd!"
I'm in that place again. This time, though, it's not work that has me questioning everything. It's Mila.
Yes, THAT Mila.
Is Mila adorable? Absolutely. Is she 422349328 shades of fantastic? Yes. She's also currently doing this thing where she sleeps through the night one night and then does the TOTAL opposite the next night. It's like she is trying to make absolutely sure that I know she CAN sleep through the night, but then she's yelling "I'M JUST NOT GOING TO DO IT, SUCKA!" the next.
How little sleep can I get and still function? How inconsistent can she be? We're finding out.
I mention all of that for one reason and one reason only -- karma. I owe that kid some karma. And yet, here I am admitting that I continue to be too nice and let the kid have her pacifier. It's all my fault that she still has it in bed at night and in the car. There are a bunch of reasons, but they all come down to me. I'm scared of her. And I want her to be happy.
Except this weekend I hit a wall and decided it was time to be done with it all. Because I'm crazy.
It took about 3 seconds in the car for Mila to confirm that she was indeed going to scream about not having a paci. She screamed all the way to daycare and back again. While I should have been gloating in the waves of karma finding their way to Mila, I was very not amused. At all. In fact, I was beyond grateful when we picked Alexis up halfway through that back again. I had help to tame the savage beast.
Alexis immediately set out to put on her Best Sister Ever pants and started soothing her little sister. She said all of the right things and she used the exact right tone and she was AMAZING. If she had been talking a terrorist into releasing hostages, it would have worked. I mean, WOW. She's a miracle worker.
While I'm certain it was the gentle tone that Alexis used that made all of the difference, her words were pretty fantastic. My favorites, though, were the ones she used to explain to Mila that fussing and carrying on were only going to convince me that taking the pacifier away was a good move. "Listen, Mila. You have to realize that the best way to get mom to let you have your way is to be good. If you're good, she can't say no, okay? Just use your manners and don't yell."
True story, that. TRUE STORY.