Mila has always been my good sleeper.*
* "Good" is a very relative term. It simply means she is capable of sleeping through the night without harassing me 224681938 times. It does NOT imply that she sleeps in her own bed. Ever.
Every time I mention that Mila is a good sleeper, I have to qualify the statement. She's not terrible, which makes her awesome, but really it's all about the comparison to her sister. Alexis has always been and will always be THE WORST SLEEPER EVER. The kid is in 8th grade and still wakes me up in the middle of the night once per week or so because she thinks of something and HAS to tell me at that exact moment.
Never once has she told me something that I needed to know in the middle of the night, by the way. For example, earlier this week she woke me up to tell me that the cat knocked down her Christmas tree (again ... SOB). AS IF I DIDN'T HEAR THE GIANT CRASH. I knew what it was; I didn't need confirmation at 2:30 am.
ANYWAY.
Mila is nowhere near as bad as her sister. Mostly she goes to bed easily and she stays asleep. Probably 10% of the time I end up going to get her a glass of water or telling her to go potty or something similar in the middle of the night, but it's fine. It's totally fine.
LAST NIGHT WAS NOT FINE. AT ALL.
Mila has a cold. It's a minor cold, really. There's a little bit of a cough and that's about it. But HOOBOY did she drag me down to a level of misery I didn't know she herself could reach. The poor kid coughed every 5 minutes ALL. NIGHT. LONG. All night. She never managed to sleep more than 4 minutes at a time because she couldn't stop coughing. She was pleasant through it all. Just coughing. Nonstop.
I spent the day in a zombie state because OBVIOUSLY and I think that's why I didn't catch what Mila said to me after school until much later. Mila spent a solid ten minutes in the car informing me that I'm a bad parent because she was coughing at school and didn't have cough drops. "Everybody else has a bag of cough drops in the teacher's desk," was her general explanation for why I'm the worst.
"Everybody else" is Mila-speak for "one other person," by the way. Generally it's her way of saying that somebody has something she wants. Therefore, I dug in. "Who has a bag of cough drops?" I asked. I fully expected one or two names to be recited.
She recited more than 20 names. I stopped counting at 20 because ZOMG SHE LISTED HER ENTIRE CLASS.
She may have been hoodwinking me and naming everybody just for funsies, or she might have been reporting that literally her entire class is coughing. Like I said, I didn't register the meaning of the conversation initially, but I did eventually catch up. When I did, I emailed her teacher.
Her entire class is coughing. Literally. Her ENTIRE class.
I'm not sure which kid was Patient Zero, but I HAVE FEEEEEELINGS ABOUT THIS. I completely didn't get sleep for an entire night because of that kid and I think maybe I need to enforce some sort of paybacks for that nonsense.
