Road Rager
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
burghbaby

I'm not sure if it's possible to be born to yell at other drivers in the car, but Mila was TOTALLY born to yell at other drivers in the car. She has always done it and will definitely be that blond chick yelling obscenities out the window when she's older. DEFINITELY.

Lately she's been upping her game.

To be fair ... actually, I honestly have no idea why she thinks it's a good idea. I am not a yeller. This is a well documented fact that can be substantiated by both of my children. One of them, namely the older one, will absolutely report to you that she has only heard me yell at other drivers maybe three times in her entire life. This is a fact which she does NOT like. She would much rather that I yell because she is strongly committed to the idea that silent rage is WAY scarier than out lout rage. It makes her CRAZY that I turn quieter the madder I am.

The whole thing might be by design. I'm not telling.

The other parent Mila spends time in the car with IS a yeller, but she's generally with me. Such is life as the little sister who gets drug everywhere the big sister goes. I'd say a solid 95% of Mila's car time involves me as the driver.

So maybe she's yelling to make up for the fact that I don't? I'm not sure.

What I am sure about is that her need to yell, "WHAT THE ...?" at drivers is killing me slowly. She used to say, "What the heck?" but she was busted for saying it so many times that she finally figured out to swallow the last word. Which, by the way, actually makes it worse. The unsaid word that is implied is WAY worse than "heck" and I suspect Mila knows it.

The other thing she has been yelling is, "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" As in, don't think about passing us, don't think about turning, don't think about existing. All people in cars are subject to this outburst.

The other other thing she keeps yelling is, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" which she says with a level of disgust usually saved for Dustin Diamond. Like, she is APPALLED that you were driving down the road and did that thing. Yeah, THAT thing. I don't know what the thing was, I just know Mila is mad.

That's half the fun, really. I don't have a clue why she's mad and yelling at other drivers. In fact, I spend several minutes every day trying to figure out if I am the offender.

So, Mila's future people, know this - it's not my fault she's a yeller. I just plain don't know how to make it stop. So you should do that because IT'S MAKING ME SO PARANOID.

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