A wall of noise reached out and smacked us in the faces as I opened the door. It's always like that at the Dance Studio on Thursdays. Four very full classes overlap, so the place vibrates with madness and chaos.
As Alexis and I weaved a path through the crowd, we spotted a little opening by a wall. We settled in and I helped her quickly yank off her t-shirt and change into her tiny black dance shoes. As soon as she was ready for class, she glanced over at some other girls from her group who were running and jumping through the waiting room, joyously doing that thing that little girls do.
"Momma, can I go play with them?" Alexis asked. Normally I would have told her no because I'm not a fan of shenanigans in such a crowded space. I sensed that it really mattered to her this time, though, and class was set to begin in just a minute or two. That didn't leave much time for her to do anything that I would have to fuss at her for, so I nodded as I stuffed her tennis shoes into her dance bag.
Alexis skipped over to the two girls as they stood in the center of the room bouncing and giggling.
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I registered Alexis for her very first gymnastics class when she was just a few days short of two years old. It was a Mommy and Me class selected specifically because she was so terribly shy that if a stranger so much as glanced at her, she would fall apart.
Alexis spent every minute of every class glued to me. That was the point, though. I wanted to push the limits of her comfort zone just a little bit. As time went on, I re-enrolled her again and again, eventually graduating to a "kids only" class that was a combination of gymnastics and dance. Alexis really wanted to dance, but she needed the familiarity of the gymnastics class.
Gradual change.
Little-by-little.
Eventually she started going into a dance class without major tears or drama. She always loved the class once she decided to participate, it was just that initial separation anxiety that did her in.
When we changed to a new dance studio, *POOF* the shyness was completely gone.
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As Alexis skipped over to the girls in the middle of the crowded room, I thought back to the days when she wouldn't make eye contact with another kid during dance class. In just under four years, she has grown leaps and bounds. She much more confident now, far more outgoing, and can take control of a room without batting an eyelash. She has learned to enjoy being the center of attention, even when the attention comes from people she doesn't know.
But she knew those girls.
She's been in class with them for weeks. They're a bit older than her, but really, that's generally how Alexis likes it. She gravitates towards kids who are into the same things she is, and she is most definitely into things that are more appropriate for a slightly older kid.
Alexis confidently pushed her way into the conversation between the two giggling girls.
But then, something happened.
I don't know what. The room was so loud that I couldn't hear the words, but I watched as Alexis' expression shifted from confident and happy to angry and confused. Then her entire face fell as she morphed to hurt. Tears began to fall as she turned and ran back to me.
"What happened?" I asked as she threw herself into my lap.
"They said I can't play with them because I don't have a dad here," she sobbed.
The answer was almost more confusing than anything I could have expected, but I managed to gather that the two men in the waiting room belonged to the two giggling girls who had trounced away as Alexis left the conversation in tears. It didn't make sense why having your dad take you to dance class was suddenly a status thing, but since when do 6-year olds make sense?
I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what to say. They don't tell you how to handle this sort of stuff in any of those "What to Expect When You're Expecting" books.
I ended up having to drag Alexis into her class, still sobbing and upset. I don't know if it was the right thing to do. I just knew that heeding her pleas to go home wouldn't solve anything.
It's moments like that which make me wonder if Alexis wasn't originally right to be leery of everyone. It's certainly safer to be shy.
