There are no rewards for renewing your driver's license early, so of course I procrastinated that little activity until it couldn't possibly be procrastinated another second. Then I found a way to procrastinate it some more.
The internet is magical, y'all.
Somehow I forget the little details between renewals, so it was a total and complete shock to me that you can renew your license online. I rediscovered that fact at 11:50 pm the night my license was expiring because obviously I wasn't going to an office to fix things. Renewing online means you get a photo card in the mail and then need to take it to an office to finish the process. There's no sense in going to the office until you get that photo card, so extension! I love extensions on procrastination. And then that photo card is valid for a few months, so you can let your license get REAL expired before you set foot in the DMV.
The lesson in all of this is procrastinate. DO IT. I swear to you everything works out. For example, I waited until I didn't have a choice to go to the DMV and then it took a whopping six minutes to complete the task.
SIX MINUTES.
If I had done it on time or even early, it would have been hours. We all know this.
My little lesson in procrastination being the best is not the end of this story, however. Actually, it's not a story. It's just a meandering point that I share so I can virtually pat myself on the back for skillfully procrastinating.
The story is actually all about those six minutes. Six very long minutes.
The DMV is only open during the hours when boring office people are doing boring office things. There are no evenings and weekends are a train wreck. Thus, my best shot was to run out at lunch on a day when I didn't have a meeting immediately following lunch.
That part worked fine. My timing was obviously perfect because six minutes. SIX MINUTES.
And yet, my timing was off because I managed to catch a woman just as she was coming off of her lunch. As she sat in her chair behind the computer, she proved that you can be physically in one place, but mentally in another.
"Press 1 for yes and 2 for no," she said.
My screen was not asking me a yes or no question.
When I didn't immediately press 1 or 2, she grew impatient. "You need to press 1 for yes and 2 for no."
I decided to ignore her. I followed the prompts that were on the screen and quickly flipped through each of the steps required to renew your license. I confirmed my address. I entered my county. I typed my phone number. I marked that I am an organ donor. I did all of those things while the woman at the computer instructed me to push buttons that would answer any question except the one that was on my screen.
"I'm a little ahead of that," I finally told her.
"Then it won't work. You need to press 1 for yes and 2 for no."
"It wants to know my county. That's not a yes or no question."
"Press 1 for yes and 2 for no."
This little scenario played out for several minutes, even after I was completely done. I signed my name and she kept looking at me blankly telling me to press 1 or yes and 2 for no.
You guys, I think robots have already started to take over the world. I think maybe I'm okay with it because SIX MINUTES. An actual human would have kept me there much longer.