I am quickly learning that 4-year olds deal with death very differently than most adults. I think it might be because they are absolutely nuts, but whatever. Maybe it's just Alexis who is completely out of her mind. And possibly bipolar.
"Where is Coal?" she asked a few days ago.
"Honey, Coal died," I gently reminded her. I'm trying to use the real words and not sugar-coat things. I figure it won't really help the situation to muddle it with confusing things like, "He went away," or whatever.
"I miss him," she whimpered through tears before breaking down completely and sobbing. With her face buried in my shoulder, I did what I could to console her even as I blinked away my own tears.
I needn't have worried because good ol' Miley Cyrus appeared on TV and called someone a dork. It was as if a switch flipped in Alexis' head as she instantly stopped crying and said, "Why did she call her a dork?"
"I don't know," I replied as I stared at the now ridiculously happy child in my lap. She flitted about for a few moments, giggling at Hannah/Miley/whoever she is before returning her attention to me.
"When is Coal coming back?" she asked.
"Coal is gone, Alexis. He's not coming back," I told her.
"Oh," she replied, as she resumed full-blown bawling.
Then, minutes later, she remembered something. She remembered something that I promised A YEAR AGO. I know it was a year ago because it was before we moved, but after we had made the offer on this house.
A year ago Alexis and I stood inside an aquarium store, looking at fish for the Saltwater Tank of Horrors. Some how, some way, Alexis caught site of some kittens out of the corner of her eye. They were rescues, there in hopes of being adopted. Alexis wanted one. She begged. She pleaded. She made all sorts of promises of good behavior.
I told her, "No." However, I left her with a tiny opening, a glimmer of future hope. I told her that when Coal was gone, she could get a kitten.
(The truth of the matter is that I would have been OK with getting one then, knowing that we were soon to have plenty of space. However, I didn't think it would be fair to an-already-old-and-ill Coal to take on another animal right then.)
Alexis remembered me saying that she could get a kitten when Coal was gone. And she called me on it.
Introducing Ali:
I think maybe Alexis likes her.
