Thank You, Britney
Thursday, December 12, 2019
burghbaby

I TAKE IT BACK. ALL OF IT. THE ELF IS THE GREATEST THING EVER HUZZAAAAAH!

Ahem.

For what it's worth, I start dishing out the Santa threats about three seconds after Halloween ends. With Alexis, that has always worked. If she managed to step out of line at all (which, LOLOLOLZ, her version of "out of line" is soooo different from Mila's), I could say, "Huh. I wonder what Santa would think about how you're acting," and she would snap to attention. And then start crying because she felt terrible about how she had been behaving.

Mila, on the other hand, has been suspicious of this Santa thing all along. The first time I said that, she replied, "He's too busy to care," and I was stunned silent. She's not wrong in that thinking, you know? After that she became even more suspicious and basically found ways to explain how it wasn't possible that he sees everything. He's too far away. He's busy building toys. He can't watch everyone; that's impossible. Mila is so dang practical it hurts and her problem solving skills? AMAZING.

So basically Santa is dead to me these days. If he can't manage to keep a kid sort of in line, what good is he?

But then the Elf came out.

When the Elf came back out, we reviewed the rules of the Elf by reading the book. We talked a lot about how she's there to keep an eye out and report back. I expected Mila to find holes in the whole story, but whatever. That's what she does.

On the first night, the Elf wore a super hero costume. I've been buying it extra clothes every year in January on clearance for practically nothing, so there's quite the tiny wardrobe these days. That meant that on day two, she could wear something else. On day three she dressed up like a lumberjack. That was the day that Mila became enthralled by the wardrobe thing. "Wouldn't it be so cool if she wore a princess dress next?" Mila said.

I latched onto the opportunity. "If you manage to be good all day, maybe when she reports to Santa tonight, he'll give her a princess dress to wear!"

Britney the Elf has never worn a princess dress before. There wasn't one in the house. I FIXED THAT REEEEEAL QUICK.

The next day, Britney the Elf was sitting on the shelf in Mila's bedroom proudly donning a princess dress. Mila was AMAZED. "It's a good thing I was so good yesterday!" she declared.

Britney threats have worked for the days since that. Like, for real. Mila thinks about refusing to clean up a mess or starts throwing a fit and I'm like, "Britney's watching!" and Mila stops.

I LOVE THE DAMN ELF!

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