He said it as if he was saying, "Water is wet" or "Puppies are cute." The words were completely lacking the appropriate amount of panic and disdain, disgust and horror.
"Did you see that there are ants in the kitchen?" my husband asked as he swept an ant off of the kitchen counter and onto the floor.
When I was finally able to shove my eyeballs back into place and find my voice, there was questioning about the appropriate way to deal with an ant WHO HAS INVADED MY HOUSE.
The correct answer involves fire, a sledgehammer, poison, and possibly the entire Steelers defensive line.
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Every year, without fail, the ants invaded our prior home. We actually lived in that community in two different townhomes and yet both locations had the exact same issue. Every spring the carpenter ants invaded. Huge, ugly, persistent carpenter ants. We went through months and months of battling to get rid of them, only to have them return each and every year without fail.
The last spring that we lived there was the worst. That was the year that the ants weren't just visiting. They moved into our walls. Every single time I see an ant, I think of the time that I stood in the hallway with a vacuum in my hands sucking up hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of ants. I wish I were exaggerating, but truly, they were POURING out of the wall.
It. Was. Horrifying.
I ended up winning the war that year, but it truly was a war.
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As I scurried across the kitchen floor looking for the ant that had just flown across the room, I realized these are not the same sort of ants I have battled in the past. While that ant survived his free-fall, he was too tiny to survive a little squirt with Method spray.
It's really very satisfying to watch an ant drown and die in something as mild as Method, especially after you've poured poison on ants and watched them laugh at you. Really. Very. Satisfying.
These new ants are after Penny's puppy food. Once it had been moved, the ants became scattered and unfocused. They became easy targets for me and my Method.
The Good Stuff is on hand. I'm waiting to see if it's needed. If the ants aren't completely gone by the weekend, it'll be time to go Chuck Norris on their asses.
