"Somebody is in trouble," I thought to myself as I walked in the room. I had missed the first fifteen minutes of dance class while I wandered around on a quest to find my cell phone. I returned just in time to hear the teacher scolding one of the girls.
I walked up to the window so I could watch the remainder of the class. They are getting close to recital time, so it's fun to watch as the last of the pieces of their routine fall into place.
I wasn't concerned with who was in trouble. There is one girl in particular who is a bit more free-spirited than the others. She rarely makes it through a class with something distracting her a little too much. I assumed she was the somebody. But, as I looked through the glass, I spotted Alexis standing face-to-face with another little girl. Her arms were crossed and her chin was down--her "I'm in trouble but it won't count if I don't look at you" posture. It wasn't somebody who was in trouble. It was my somebody.
As the teacher talked to Alexis about what she had done, the edges of reality began to shift. It was as if I was watching myself get scolded, although I never took a single dance class, nor wanted to. It wasn't the setting that was so familiar, it was Alexis' reaction to the scolding. The posture, the stance, the stiff lip, it was all so very familiar.
The teacher turned to Alexis and stared until Alexis' eyes began to drift upward. "Do you understand, Alexis?" the teacher asked.
"Use your filter. Use your filter. Use your filter," I thought, over and over again. I was born completely lacking that filter that most people have between their mouths and the part of the brain that reacts to situations. I just blurt the first words that come to me, often without taking even a split second to consider the consequences.
Alexis may not look anything like me, but HOOBOY did she get that filter-free attitude. It's hard to explain how it's different than any other 5-year old when Alexis says something inappropriate. I just know it is because I recognize it. I do it. I am it.
"This is stupid," Alexis replied. So much for using that filter.
The Mini Me continued to dig her way into a deep hole, all the while looking and sounding EXACTLY like I did when I was that age.
It took me about 30 years to learn to control my mouth. I can only hope Alexis figures it out much faster.
And don't even get me started on the eyerolling. ::sigh::