There are a lot of things I wish someone had told me before Alexis was born. Like, sleep while she's a newborn because it ain't getting any better any time soon.
You guys, she's six. SIX. I still can't count on her to sleep through the night. She just ... doesn't need sleep.
I also wish someone had warned me just how fantastically frustrating kids can be.
Alexis has been on a streak of sass lately, which HOMEY DON'T PLAY THAT. I have no patience for the talking back business so it's a fast track to time out around here. Confounding the issue is that the kid has recently taken to saying "I didn't!" when she gets caught red-handed doing something.
For example, this evening Alexis said something stupid and I scolded her for being rude to me. Her response was, "But I wasn't!"
I WAS THERE, CHILD. Should I start videotaping our conversations so that I can display the evidence on a big screen TV? I'll grant the kid that it was a minor violation, but since I've been the Sass Police lately, it shouldn't have surprised her that I called her on it.
Regardless, I sent the kid straight to time out. She knew it was mostly because she denied doing anything wrong and blah, blah, blah.
A few minutes passed by and I went to talk to the kid about earning her way out of purgatory.
As I sat on the step, Alexis' eyes locked on mine. She had purposely opened them as wide as she could as she stuck her lower lip out ever so slightly. "I'm really sorry, momma," she said.
Nicely played, don't you think? We chatted for a minute about what she had done. I held my face stern as I told her how disappointed I was with her behavior.
As I gave her my best, "You are SO in trouble" glare, it started. She turned up the corners of her mouth ever so slightly. She turned the lights on deep in her eyes and they began to glow brighter and brighter as her mouth turned up more and more and more until she finally let out a little chuckle.
"I really love you, momma," she gushed as she began to giggle.
I know when I'm being played and I was being played. Like a fiddle. But do you know how contagious that child's laugh is? It's ... OYE.
I don't have a recent video, which is a travesty that I will fix soon, but here:
THAT LAUGH. OMG.
It is a weapon of mass destruction. It is so contagious that there is absolutely no way you can't join in.
She knows it. She uses it against people.
It's fantastically frustrating that the kid has already figured out that laughter can fix so many things in this world.
