A couple of people asked for more information about the Magical, Mystical, Makes-the-Kid-More-Useful Chore Chart that we're using. If that's not your sort of thing, just blip-blip-blip your way out of here for today. Might I suggest an old post for your reading pleasure? Here. (Psst...the link at the end of that post still works. :-D )
The rest of you? Behold! This week's Chore Chart! (We're currently calling it "Alexis' Jobs" for now.)
I told you it wasn't anything fancy. Well, OK, the turkey is a little bit fancy, but that was Alexis' doing. I start out with a plain piece of construction paper, a pen, and some markers. In theory, I would print out something a wee bit fancier, but the whole project is still in flux, so it's just as easy to grab a pen and paper as it is to bust out the laptop and printer.
So, our goal for now is for the kid to learn to take a little initiative and for her to have a positive attitude towards helping around the house. As time goes by, I plan on adjusting that goal as needed and changing the tasks to keep things age appropriate. Frankly, she's kind of useless right now. Five-year olds just aren't quite ready to be scrubbing toilets and dusting ceiling light fixtures. Most of the tasks she can do require a bit of rework by an adult, but we're OK with that. We just want her to learn that she has to help around the house and that she needs to do it without making me coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.
There's a theory floating around the interwebs that you shouldn't pay kids for chores because they're a part of life. I actually tend to agree with the theory. I mean, I don't get paid to take out the trash, so why should she? That is another reason that the tasks will evolve over time. At some point, she won't be able to get compensated for doing things that she should be doing no matter what. Hopefully.
However, right now Little Miss needs positive reinforcement to stay interested in stuff. She is most definitely one of those kids who needs some sort of confirmation that she's doing something right if we want to keep her interested in it. That's why there are some "Gimme" things on her task list. I really need to make sure she is guaranteed a few stickers each week so that she'll stick with it. We also don't take stickers away because Little Miss sucks at handling negative reinforcement. In this case, I suspect that she would give up on the whole thing altogether because she gets super frustrated when we try any sort of negative reinforcement. She has us trained, n'at.
So, every Friday night, Alexis and I sit down and look at the previous week's chart. She counts her stickers, we work together to figure out how much money I owe her (we pay 20 cents per sticker right now--the goal is for her to end at around $5.00 each week), and then we start a new chart for the next week. (We started out trying a monthly chart, but it was too long of a period of time between "rewards." Alexis was losing interest.)
The process for creating a new chart goes a little like this:
1. I write down a few "guaranteed" pay outs. Like I said, she needs a little positive reinforcement built into the system or she'll give up. This week those guaranteed tasks are:
- doing her homework
- emptying the dishwasher (She puts away clean silverware, pots, pans, and baking dishes. She'll get more to do as soon as she's tall enough to put them away safely.)
- clean up toys in family room (Yes, that is a guaranteed one. I have her trained to clean them up because for years I have told her that I can throw away any toys I find left out after she goes to bed. I only ever once actually threw something away, but it has stuck with her. The only problem is that I still usually have to ask her to clean stuff up. That initiative thing sure would be nice...)
Guaranteed pay outs are worth one sticker when she does them.
2. I write down a few chores that she can help with but that she doesn't *have* to do. This week those are:
- Put away clean clothes (worth 2 stickers)
- clean playroom (worth 10 stickers because she'll never do it unless I really force her to do it)
- dust family room furniture (worth 1 sticker)
- wash kitchen/family room windows (worth 1 sticker)
I assign a sticker value to those things based on the enormity of the task and the likelihood that Alexis will whine and cry if I make her do them. I try to make sure a few things that she considers "fun" are in the list. This week's fun is the dusting and windows.
I KNOW. She's a freak. I like that I can monopolize on that a bit.
3. I ask Alexis for some tasks that she thinks should be on the list. This week she picked:
- Help with Christmas decorations (worth 1 sticker)
- Clean kitchen table (worth 1 sticker)
- Put away groceries (worth 1 sticker)
- Get dressed without help (worth 2 stickers)
- Dirty clothes in hamper (worth 1 sticker)
- Practice reading (worth 1 sticker)
A couple of those are guarantees. She's pretty good about putting her dirty clothes in the hamper and she is absolutely good about reading every day. I'm OK with her building a few guarantees into the chart because she most definitely also listed some things that she SUUUUUUCKS at doing.
The "getting dressed without help" thing? OMG. THAT. She has been a giant pain in the butt in the morning recently. She has no interest in getting out of bed and moving and she must know it's making me lose my mind. Apparently she wants to work on it? FINE BY ME. I even made it worth two stickers because I really would love to see her earn a bunch of stickers that way. Initiative! I like it!
I assign sticker values to the "Alexis' Choice" tasks based on the level of suck. I also reserve the right to change the values each week.
4. And then the Universal Rewards That Get Us To Our Mission: I add a couple of lines about how doing a task without being asked is worth a bonus two stickers and how doing a task without complaining is worth another two bonus stickers. THAT is where the money is really at for her, and that's exactly where we want it. Initiative. Positive attitude. I want them.
5. We also randomly award stickers if she does something above and beyond during the week. For example, today she walked around the entire house collecting dog toys and then took them down to the basement and put them in the basket where they belong. I didn't ask her to do it, but I certainly appreciated it, so I rewarded her appropriately.
Throughout the week, we tell her to give herself a sticker when she completes a task. As she's sticking on the first sticker, we ask her if she did it without being asked. Then we ask if she did it without complaining. She's shockingly good at being honest about those two points, so I *think* she gets it. She always seems a little extra proud as she sticks on those bonus stickers for initiative and attitude.
Eventually that lands us back to Friday when we count stickers, pay, and start all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And this is where I would loooove your ideas for other chores that a 5-year old can reasonably do. So far we've been focused on having her take care of her own stuff, but I'm always trying to think of ways she can help the greater good. And by "greater good" I mean ME. ME. ME. It's all about me.
I need a kid that doesn't whine when she helps. There is no "greater good" than that.
