There comes a point when your long-haired dog curls up on the couch next to you and you realize you can't tell which end is which because they smell the same.
Shockingly enough, that point comes about four seconds before bath time.
We've done this whole long-haired dog thing before, so we know just enough to be dangerous. Penny, sadly, hasn't figured out that I know about the sneak-out-of-the-tub-behind-the-human trick. She doesn't realize I WILL stop her if she tries to exploit the presence of a certain short person as a way to escape. She hasn't even figured out that resistance just prolongs the torture.
She'll figure it out eventually. Maybe.
If you've ever wondered what happens when you get an ewok wet, well, here you go.
I dont' think she liked me very much right at that moment. That's OK, because I have feelings about this:
That used to be carpet. USED TO BE. Someone (**cough**notme**cough**) accidentally locked the puppy out of our bedroom one night last week. That puppy has only ever slept in our room as far as she can remember, so that puppy was VERY NOT HAPPY OMG. She tried to dig a hole to China and only stopped short because I woke up at 2:00 in the morning and spent 10 minutes wandering around in the dark trying to figure out what the weird noise was.
Penny eating carpet. That's what it was.
For the record, Penny is that dog who will sometimes randomly bark in the middle of the night because a mouse blinked in the next county over. It was sweet of her to forget about her awesome barking skills when she was panicked about being on the wrong side of the door.
ANYWAY. This is the face of someone who has earned their state of torture.
It's also the face of someone who knows how to get revenge, even when I was supposed to be the one getting even.
I'll just say this: I now know what ShamWows are made out of -- Tibetan Terrier hair. That stuff can hold an AMAZING amount of water. AMAAAAAZZZZING. Gallons and gallons and gallons. As I sat on the bathroom floor with the living ShamWow wrapped in a towel, Alexis decided she was done helping with the Penny de-stinking process. She opened the bathroom door to leave ... and time stopped.
Penny darted out of that towel and through that door so fast she broke the sound barrier. She continued to run and bounce and fly through the house at top speed, leaving a river of dog-scented water behind her.
So, uh, our floors are clean now. Or at least cleaner.
But no matter. Penny may have ShamWowed the house, but I get the last laugh. Please excuse the horrible photo quality (What's that? I have a big girl camera? Meh. I think it's allergic to wet ShamWows.).
Behold the joy of a soaking wet ShamWow!
And here's what happens if you blow dry a ShamWow!
Project Humiliate the Tibetan in Public is complete. Now we're even.
Almost.