I was in a wedding once. Well, twice, if you count my own. But, yeah, just one wedding.I don't know how I managed to dodge the bullet that is being in a string of weddings, but I suppose it has a lot to do with moving from state-to-state-to-state for the better part of five years.
Once was enough. Being in weddings isn't my thing.
For that one wedding, I had to wear a dress. It was an awful, fluffy, frilly, lacy, lavender disaster. It had a wide scoop neck, lace trim everywhere, and so many ruffles. I looked like a fancy Southern lampshade, except that there was no light shining from within. I was miserable. It was worse than the feeling of a bad haircut or having a giant zit on your face. I wasn't me. I was an ugly someone who I didn't recognize. I was someone I didn't like. I was so completely uncomfortable wearing that dress that all I could think about was hiding from everyone and then ripping it off.
I did exactly that late in the evening, by the way. I played it off like it was an accident, but it was no accident when the full skirt got caught in a door and was ripped. It was really important to me that the dress died that day because I never wanted to see it again.
Have you ever felt like that? So totally and completely uncomfortable and out of place that all you want to do is rip your skin off?
I imagine that a lot of people have felt that way. I know that a few of my friends have felt that way, except amplified by a bajillion. They are fantastically wonderful people who would do absolutely anything for anybody. Some of them are mothers, some are fathers, some are very successful in their careers, all of them are very successful in their lives.
The point is, they're people. Really great people.
They're really great people who were born in skin that makes them feel a tiny bit like I felt that day when I wore that dress that made me feel like a stranger.
I don't pretend to understand what it's like to be born in skin that feels wrong, but I do understand that it's real. I do understand that all people deserve to be treated like people. Because they are. Sometimes they're just people who see the world a little bit differently than I do.
(I am very purposely not linking to the reference in the title. If you don't get it, good. It's hate speech that should have never been allowed to be published.)