As luck would have it, the first movies I've seen in approximately forever and 23.645254646 days happened to be two of the worst that I've ever seen. That's what happens when you depend on Groupons for a night out, though.
Let me just save you from wasting any of your life. Do NOT go see The Stooges remake. We didn't manage to make it all the way through because it was THAT bad. I tried covering the awfulness with chocolate, but it was still completely intolerable.
Side note: Alexis has watched The Wiz. On purpose. And she liked it. THAT IS HOW LOW HER STANDARDS FOR MOVIES IS. She was the first to ask to leave the debacle that is The Stooges remake.
We were at a drive-in theater, though, so before the worst movie of all time, we saw the almost worst movie of all time. It was Pirates! Band of Misfits. Before you yell at me and tell me that it was a perfectly fine movie, YOU ARE WRONG. It was terrible. TERRIBLE.
But one little bit of awesome did come of it.
Because of that movie, we ended up in a conversation with Alexis about what exactly a Pirate is. We explained that they aren't very nice because they steal stuff from people on boats. There were a few questions about whether or not pirates are still a real thing. We assured her that they most certainly are.
As the concept of pirates being thieves sunk into her little noggin, I could see that her gears were churning. And churning. And churning.
"Mom, why are the Penguins the only nice team in Pittsburgh?" she asked.
I was confused by the sudden change of subject. I told her as much.
"I mean the Pirates steal stuff and the Steelers take stuff, so only the Penguins are nice," she clarified.
Steelers. Stealers.
The kid is kind of a genius.
