I've said a million times that if this whole parenting gig could be done from within the safety of a bubble, it would be SO much easier. While it's not always easy to navigate the parenting path when it's just us and Alexis, it becomes infinitely more complicated when other kids become involved.
And then there are other parents.
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Alexis sees the world in black and white. There is no bending of rules or gray area for her. If it's right, it's right. If it's wrong, it's wrong.
And, man, is it fantastic.
Her way of looking at the world makes it very easy to be her parent most of the time. She isn't going to cut in line because it's against the rules. She gasps when she hears someone use a word we consider a "grown-up word." She's by no means perfect (OMG THE TALKING BACK, is just one of many examples I could give), but she's such a Rules Girl that I don't really worry about her behaving when she's with other people. We're talking about a kid who told her teacher she couldn't take a piece of candy as an award for good behavior at school because it was before lunch. She isn't allowed to have candy before lunch. It never occurred to her that maybe it was OK if a teacher was offering. It never occurred to her that I wouldn't have known if she did eat it. She felt so guilty for thinking about taking the candy that she came to me this evening and said, "Momma, I have to tell you something" and then spilled her guts.
Our day will come, I'm sure, but for now? Meh. I know she won't commit any serious crimes when she's out of my sight. Her conscious won't let her.
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As the doorbell rang, Alexis ran to see who was there. She was hoping it was a friend or two, but it turned out to be a friend's parents. As she called out who it was, it never once occurred to me that I should dread going to the door.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
As I reached the door and looked out at the father and mother, I tried to predict what friendly terms had brought them to our door. An invite of some sort, perhaps?
But ... no. They were there to discuss something Alexis had done.
The discussion was a long one and stretched over a couple of incidents, but the intention was clear. I was to stand there and listen as I was told that my kid is a bad influence. It was her fault. She started it.
"It" was a giggle-fest between Alexis and another girl her age. The details of the tale started at the midway point, but basically they were caught sitting on some swings giggling and giggling and giggling about how funny a word is.
Alexis HAD to be the source of that word. "We don't use that word in our house," I was told.
Neither do we, I thought. And she doesn't have any older siblings. Oh, and she rode a school bus all by herself last year. A million thoughts ran through my mind for how it was very interesting that Alexis HAD to be the source, even though her life is even more sheltered than that of her friend.
The Blame Game continued on and on as I blinked and blinked, trying to figure out how two people could seriously stand on my front porch and assign blame without regard for the fact that all of our kids live in a big world with lots of other people in it.
It took me a minute or ten to realize that in my mind, I wasn't denying that Alexis knew the word. We really don't use it in our house, but I have no doubt that she's heard it during recess or while watching TV or while in the grocery store or something.
Nor did I care that she knew the word. And I cared even less that she thought it was funny.
If you can't sit on a swing and giggle your butt off about how funny the word "wiener" is when you are six years old, when can you giggle your butt off about how funny it is? I'm sorry, it's a funny word.
Wiener.
See? It's a funny word.
So I stood at my door in total silence as I was told how terrible my kid is for teaching someone else the word "wiener." I stood there silently as I considered the thousands of potential sources for the word "wiener," none of which involved Alexis. I stood there in silence as "I DON'T CARE IF SHE LAUGHS AT IT!" rattled loudly around my brain. I stood there silently as other parents dressed me down for being a bad parent.
I'm pretty sure I handled it about as badly as it could be handled. I'm still handling the situation badly, months later.
So tell me, Internet, what do you do when you don't see eye-to-eye with your kid's friends' parents? Because, seriously, I suck so hard at this part of the parenting game.