If I had the past five years to do over again, I would get about 153% more sleep. Sure, I'd be completely bald and probably need a kidney by now, but I would get more sleep because I wouldn't battle with Alexis over her undying need to wrap herself around my head at night. Every so-called expert who ever wrote a single word about how to get a baby to sleep through the night in a crib can basically bite me at this point, because they are all stupid doo-doo heads. The kid decided to sleep in her bed totally on her own and not at all because of anything I said or did. Getting her ears pierced was the bribery that seemed to encourage her to turn the corner. But, let's be honest. Alexis would still be jamming her knees into my back if she hadn't decided she was done jamming her knees in my back.
So many opportunities to sleep were wasted arguing with Alexis, escorting her back to bed, and generally at war with an enemy that couldn't be beaten.
Now that Alexis is staying in her own bed at night, you can still see signs that she likes a lot of company. A LOT of company. Piled on her twin bed are three Pillow Pets, six dolls of varying sizes, and literally dozens of stuffed animals. There is a very narrow little spot where she can squeeze her butt into that bed. Watching her wiggle her way into that tiny spot is funnier than anything NBC has put on during prime time for YEARS. She won't admit that it sucks, but there's no way that it doesn't. I swear it looks like some sort of furry orgy, but she seems to be perfectly happy at the center of it all.
Somehow She Who Continues To Try To Find Her Way Back Into The Womb managed to convince me that she deserved a few minutes of snuggles before she went to sleep tonight. Looking at the day from her perspective, it really sucked, so I figured it was the least I could do. I told her she would have to clear some space before I crawled into bed with her, so she shoved and crammed and somehow managed to make a few inches of free space appear. I have no idea where her pink bunny Pillow Pet wound up, but I imagine it was somewhere dark and smelly.
Better him than me.
As we sat there snuggling, her little hands tangled in my hair as they often are, she whispered about adventures she hopes to have, told me stories about adventures that she already has under her belt, and generally moved her mouth as much as any human ever has. I'm convinced that talking is her not-so-secret weapon in her war on sleep, so I finally told her it was quiet time. She laid there with her eyes gently closed, twirling my hair and breathing softly. After a few moments of silence, she sighed, her little eyes popped open, and she said, "Momma, you're going to have to go. There's not enough room for you in my bed."
If I had said that to her a year ago, she would have kicked me in the face as she tried to worm her way closer. She's REAL lucky I'm saving all my revenge moments for her teen years.
