Nobody likes mosquitoes, except for maybe the people who make bug spray and the citronella growers, but YOU GUYS. WAR. IT IS HAPPENING.
Load me up with all of the mosquito killing machinery, because I am ready. Blowtorches are no longer considered overkill at this house because one of those bastards dared to bite Alexis and THIS MEANS WAR.
So, here's the thing. Alexis isn't exactly a tasty snack. Neither am I. For the most part, the mosquitoes recognize that we're not the tastiest thing in the house and they wander on to find other humans to torture. But one pesky little mosquito decided to take a taste out of the very top of Alexis' leg and WAR. IT IS ON. YOU WILL PAY, YOU STUPID MOSQUITO. AND SO WILL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS.
I'm sure it started as just a little itchy bump, but by the time Alexis was done digging at the little bite, it had turned into a giant, raging red bump complete with an itty bitty teeny tiny drop of blood.
Meh bay-beee's blood.
I'm sure I'm not the only mother who automatically says, "Is there blood?" when approached by a small person complaining about some injury or another. I basically don't care if the floor attacked you unless there is blood or bones sticking out. I've said it so many times that Alexis often reports injuries by saying, "I have a boo-boo but it's not bleeding so I guess it's OK. SOB."
I reply by reminding her it's OK to toughen up a bit. Or a lot.
But this time. THIS TIME THERE WAS BLOOD. It was the exact moment Alexis has been waiting for her entire injury-prone life. 'MOM. BLOOD. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
There were tears and sobbing and a general aura of WOE IS ME. WOE. WOE. WOE. MEEEEEE. BLOOD. WOE. She went on and on and on and on.
That was three days ago. She's still going on. In fact, nobody slept this weekend because the WOE lasted all through the night and came complete with tears and moaning. MOANING. MY KID WAS MOANING BECAUSE HER MOSQUITO BITE WAS ITCHY AND SHE COULDN'T SCRATCH IT ANYMORE.
For the record, we slapped Neosporin on that angry bite and she acted like it was magically cured of all itchiness. If only we had thought of the placebo effect a few hours sooner, we'd all be much more rested.
The good news in all of this mosquito bite WOE is that I will now and forever be able to talk Alexis out of doing things by telling her there is a chance that doing it will likely result in her being as itchy and miserable as she was that time she had a mosquito bite.
