I've walked up and down every aisle of Target multiple times so I'm absolutely certain I can't get what I want there. Instead, I've taken to trolling our neighborhood for it.
Friends. Alexis needs more friends.
While we are crazy fortunate to be sandwiched between fantastic kids her age, it seems that I have slightly different expectations for how a 6-year old should spend her day than their parents do. I am the Queen of Go Outside. Done with your homework? GO OUTSIDE. Done eating dinner? GO OUTSIDE. It's cold out? Too bad, GO OUTSIDE. It's sunny and warm out? GO OUTSIDE FASTER.
I love spending time with my kid, but I really only need to see her face in the house when she's eating, sleeping, or going to the bathroom. Other than that, GET YOUR BUTT OUTSIDE.
The kids nearest us are apparently hermits. They don't do the outside thing nearly as much as I would like. Alexis is good at independent play, but there is far less whining involved when she has some partners in crime. While I'm very happy to hang out in the yard with her, she eventually gets bored of my inability to find butt jokes funny.
So, every night we put leashes on the dogs and go for a walk. Alexis has no idea that I have ulterior motives in this whole game, so she happily skips along picking up "helicopter seeds" and choking the pups when she walks the opposite way they think she is going to walk.
I stare. I survey. I judge. I'm looking for girls near her age who seem to be outside a lot and seem to generally be good kids. My standards aren't terribly high. I'm not planning on kidnapping one of them, after all. I just want to say "Hi" and encourage Alexis to say "Hi" and maybe pay the kid to hang out in my yard for an hour or two.
I'm kidding. I only pay if they stay four hours or more.
Earlier this week Alexis and I were on a Friend Finding Mission. As usual, the short person wasn't paying any attention to any of the people we encountered. She's too lost in her own head to notice that there are other humans on this earth. She is trying to throw the world's longest Me Party.
But then it happened.
I don't know how he managed to catch her attention, but HOOBOY! He most certainly caught 120% of her attention! And he took it with him.
Alexis eyes grew wide, her jaw dropped to the ground, and a little drop of drool began to fall. She clutched my hand tighter as she whispered, "Momma! Look! That boy looks just like Justin Bieber!"
He did, too. A 12-year old version, but still, a Bieber look-alike.
It's possible that Alexis begged and begged and begged me to follow him so she could figure out where he lives. It's possible that I told Alexis NO WAY, JOSE.
It's also possible that I've decided to abandon this whole Friend Finding Mission in exchange for locking her in the basement for the rest of her life. OUTSIDE BE DAMNED.
