There are very few things I truly fear in life. There's death, centipedes, ravenous face-eating wolves, thoughts of the animatronics in It's a Small World coming to life and trying to destroy me while I'm stuck on that little boat with the song playing on an endless loop . . . and taking Alexis to the movie theater.
I really don't know why taking her to a movie freaks me out. She has been to a handful of movies now and has consistently been pretty well-behaved, except for that whole Wall*E debacle where she was all, "WHY ARE THEY NOT TALKING?" a few thousand times. Loudly. When they weren't talking and therefore weren't drowning out her chatter. Anyway, I suppose I always think THIS will be the time. The time that she turns into a fireball of annoying as she begins spewing questions, proving that she doesn't need a magaphone to make sure half the universe can hear her, making ridiculous demands, and generally acting like a fool. I just don't want to be there for it.
Tomorrow she and her entire preschool are going to see Toy Story 3. Together. As a field trip. I don't know how many kids total that is, but anything more than one? HOLD ME.
I won't even be there. Yet, the thought of 20-30 preschoolers corralled together into a dark theater scares the crap out of me. There could very well be an uprising of the short person variety tomorrow.
If the world ends, I'm sorry. I tried to warn you, but there wasn't really anything I could do to stop the horror.
