She Thought it was Food Poisoning
I work with this guy who is married to this girl who wasn't feeling quite right for months. She kept having stomach pains and, in general, just didn't feel like herself. Back in November, she started having really bad, really sharp pains so she went to the Emergency Room. The diagnosis? Hello! You are having a baby RIGHT! NOW!
Yeah. Neither she nor her husband had any clue that she was pregnant. A fun little detail is that the girl cannot possibly weigh more than a buck ten soaking wet and carrying a Bulldog. She's LITTLE. Anybody else wondering how the heck that happens? I mean, I have heard of overweight women not showing, but a skinny little thing? How? And holy lifestyle change, Batman!
Anyway, I have been marveling at this whole thing for two months now. My brain quite simply cannot wrap itself around it. Now, I can understand why the husband didn't realize what was going on; Mr. Chatterbox is usually so busy talking that he doesn't know other people are in the room. But how did she not know? First there's the appearance thing. The man on the moon could see that I was pregnant two years ago without even getting out his telescope. 65 pounds and ALL belly will do that. I'm guessing she probably didn't gain that much wait, but still. Then you've got the heartburn, nausea, sleeplessness, swelling, constipation, tiny human karate chopping your ribs, constant peeing, tiny human kicking the crap out of all of your vital organs, and all the other joys of pregnancy. Huh? What? Eh? How do you not notice these things?
I wonder endlessly about the how, but then there's also the whole idea of not having a little time to adjust to the idea of being parents. This was their first kid, so it's not like they were adding to the Duggar clan. They had to buy all the things that come with kids, suddenly stop getting sleep, and, and, and . . . the list of changes just goes on and on and on.
I would love to ask the guy all of the questions that run through my mind every time I see a photo of his daughter in his office, but like I said, he rarely notices that anyone else is in the room. However, I found out today that his wife may be at an event next week. The filter that stops by mouth from saying things my brain thinks it shouldn't malfunctions frequently, and apparently the warranty is no longer valid. This could be a problem. I'm pretty sure I'm going to spew some WTH? and How do you? kind of questions that would offend anyone that seriously has got to feel like they are the victim of the world's biggest practical joke.
On one hand I'm hoping she doesn't show up because I just know she's going to want to kick my butt after I ask her 6,000 questions (good thing she's smaller than me, I should be able to take her). On the other hand, the answers to so many of my life mysteries could end up solved. Perhaps I should start writing my questions down and have everyone I know edit them for rudeness. Maybe that would work . . . if she shows up.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Reader Comments (33)
You have GOT to ask. If she's not there go to her house. Stalk her until you get answers. We NEED to know this stuff. How on earth?! I'll be up all night wondering. HOW?!
Is she playing with all cards in her deck? I've heard of single girls being in denial, but a married person. And, another queston, uhm, did you not notice you stopped having periods? Is she older and near menapause? If you didn't actually work with the father I'd think someone was pulling your leg.
65? That's nothing toots.
Oh, you MUST ask her. For all women who gained more than fifty pounds and wanted to kick their spouses in the groin for impregnating with demon seed, you must ask.
And, I've heard of a couple of months, but ummm...you have no period for like three months in a row & you don't begin to wonder if something is amiss? How do you go into LABOR and not know? Esp. if it's your first.
I read Jersey 89 who didn't know until 4.5 merely cause she was breastfeeding the first & never had a period between the kids. That I get. On your first & not following your body for a whole year? Umm. NO.
She could have had an anterior placenta...I'm not sure if that's what its called but something like that. Makes it near impossible to feel a baby moving.
As for the rest, the woman is a doofus...how can you not tell your pregnant....
I second that! Seriously, how could you be so dim as to NOT KNOW. I mean, maybe she has a strange body type and didn't show, and maybe she just thought her cravings (!!hello!!) were making her fat. Peeing alot, maybe that wasn't a big deal, heartburn can be explained away, as can insomnia, swelling, and all that - there are other illnesses that cause these things. But wouldn't you be concerned, as a not pregnant woman, when you started to feel something KICKING YOU from INSIDE?? Unless she's beleives in aliens and has been having carnal relations with them, you just can't explain away someone ELBOWING YOU IN THE KIDNEY...from the INSIDE!!
If you're not going to ask her, I'm free next week, I could come to your event!
oh yes, you absolutely have to ask... then report back to us! LOL I would LOVE to have gone through most of my pregnancies without knowing it! LOL I did enjoy feeling the baby move... but that was about it!HA!
Ask! Ask! Ask!
Okay, was she a gymnast? Was the baby to term? Way early? Healthy at birth? Seriously, I ask about the gymnast thing because the ones I knew in college never got their periods and they were always working out. It's very hard on the body. And if you don't know, and you keep working out harder to avoid weight gain ...
No, I still can't see it.
OH! You must tell us if she does show up!!! I never understood this phenomenon either. I've had several preemie patients with parents telling this same story that they "did not know,"....and then I see the mom walk in and "HELLO!" she looks preggo! I smell a bit of denial possibly...or maybe pure ignorance.
I heard a story from a friend of mine (she's a social worker) about a similar thing. The woman was quite skinny and didn't show. She blamed the babies movements on gas. She had actually done 4-5 preg tests and had them all come back negative. She was delivered of a small baby girl at about 35 weeks. Both healthy.
My friend was called in to help talk the mother through the emotional side of "Sheesh! I just had a baby with no warning!"
Okay, if you somehow didn't know you were pregnant, wouldn't you think you were absolutely dying, what with all the miseries that pregnancy brings? I mean, I would think I had some rare tropical disease or something.
Go ahead and ask her. I guarantee you're not the first one!
OMG! How DOES that happen?? there is no way I could have missed the all day sickness that hit for 20+ weeks (yeah, my kids love me!)- or any of the rest of it. You do need to ask- if not for you, for me.
While I am amazed they missed something so big- I do feel badly that while pushing out a human being, they also had to adjust to being parents & plan maternity leave, stay home or work?, formula or breastfeeding? - not like they had time to disagree! Oh, and the name - that always took us MONTHS!
I'm very curious to hear these answers!
That's insane.
I had a distant relative who had a 'surprise baby' a few years ago. In her situation though, she was overweight and thought she was just going thru menopause. Crazy.
I actually worked with a girl that had the same issue. One day she caled off work and said um "I jusr Had a baby girl" I was like WTH!!!
YOu gotta ask her. Wonder if they are ralated. LOL.
OH and Love the shirt that Alexis is wearing in this picture.
I do know that the baby was a little over 5 pounds at birth. I don't know if she was full-term or not. She was in the NICU for a few days after she was born, but the photos of her at one-day old suggest her stay there wasn't all that serious. She wasn't on a ventilator, she was being held by her parents, etc. Maybe precautionary? Maybe because of low birth weight?
Oh, and y'all have about as much tact as I do. Way to come up with questions that aren't at all insulting!
;-)
Um, yeah. You also stop getting a certain monthly visitor.
Emily
I knew a girl that didn't know she was pregnant until she, too, was in labor. And it blew my mind. I just don't see how you don't get that?!
I think Alexis is thinking (in the picture): "Seriously? WTH?"!
I guess that's possible because I've heard about that many times before. I just can't understand HOW it's possible! Everyone thought I was having twins with a couple of mine! Pleas ask her and let us all know!
Good grief - I was always diving for the pregnancy tests even if I was just a couple days late for my period. I'm 17 weeks right now and even without a baby kicking all over yet I sure know I'm preggers!
Dude, I would sooooooooooo be asking. What the deal, yo? I mean, come on.. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, me thinks.
My SIL supposedly didnt' know she was pregnant until she was 29 weeks along. Just couldn't understand all the bloating and swollen ankles and all. Then she had the baby at 31 weeks so a two week pregnancy is pretty cool.
I really do think she was in complete denial though. Who can't feel that baby crushing your lungs all day long.
it worked...the mojo worked!!! yay! i'll be back to read your post properly but, wanted to tell you that you sending computer mojo...totally worked!! gee...thanks!!
Oooooooh, can you ask AND record it, so you can post it? I am fascinated and want to live vicariously through you!!
Ok. I'm sorry. Forgive me in advance. But you have got to be some kind of stupid (or in extreme denial) to not figure out you're pregnant.
And if this woman doesn't recognize being pregnant? She'll hardly recognize any rudeness in your questions. I think you should totally ask. I mean. For real.
I saw a whole Oprah show on this once, and read an article about a 5'2" skinny nurse who had the same thing happen, and she is very aware of her body, just no symptoms- zilch! She already had a child and knew what it all was like but NOTHING was happening except she had started to gain a little bit of weight. Many ladies I saw and this lady were irregular, or they just continued to have periods. I don't know how it happens, but sometimes it does. I feel so cheated it never happened to me!
No F'ING WAY!!!!
(If she IS there, you'd better post all her answers!!!!) ;)
wow. just wow. how can't you possibly know? how can't you possibly not realize you're peeing every 2 minutes? pleeeease post your q&a session w/the mommy. i'm dying to know!
oooops. i meant *how can't you possible realize you're peeing every two minutes* not whatever mumbo jumbo i just posted :)
how can you NOT KNOW!? seriously...when that baby is moving all over, doing a gymnastic routine in your over extended uterus...how do you not know? and, when you are laying in bed, and all of a sudden you see, what looks like a foot, make a sudden appearance through the skin of your tummy? what about no period? what about the fact that, for no apparent reason...your stomach is getting huge?
how can some NOT know? impossible...major denial...or, serious psychological problems!!
I weigh 110 pounds.
When I got PG, I put on 47 pounds. There was no denying that I was PG.
...and how would someone NOT notice?
One thing that I thought as I read your post: how sad to miss your pregnancy. I mean---to miss those 9 months of marveling at this little life you are growing??? I mean, there were times that it would have been nice to miss the backaches, heart burn, sore boobs, etc, etc....but to miss the good stuff??? that's sad.
That is nuts. I don't understand how you could not know. My brain hurts from trying to understand.
All pregnancies have symptoms. Even if you don't have many, you would have more than one at least. Wouldn't you start wondering about all these weird things going on? And what about that overwhelming tiredness of the 1st trimester?
I agree with tootsie, if she was oblivious to her pregnancy, I wonder if she'll be aware of rudeness. Besides, I'll bet she's asked all the time by anyone who knows the story. And you've got to ask. We all have to know. If you make a list, we could edit it for rudeness, but I think instead we will all just want to add questions!
I have a very simple, (and not at all tactful) answer to all of these questions...People are stupid.
Yes, please ask! And you're already nicer because I wouldn't be asking WTH, but WTF? I mean, the baby books give you that line that when the baby moves, it feels like gas. Never in my 18 months of pregnancy did I ever mistake those children for gas! Especially those sharp kicks to the ribs and the punches the cervix! And how did she manage the voracious appetite? I couldn't stop eating in months 4-9. In fact, I even woke up in the middle of the night hungry (and would have a snack). And in all those months of not feeling well, she didn't ONCE go to a doctor???? Any MD (or even an RN...hell, an LPN) would feel that firm belly (no matter how little) and would suspect pregnancy! Even Britney knew she was pregnant! and she's never been accused of being terribly bright...
Oy! Keep us updated...we REALLY need to know!