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Tuesday
Jun242008

Caution: A Rare Glimpse into the Mind of the Male Species

A few nights ago, Mr. Husband was sitting with Alexis at her art table coloring with her. (I know, swoon. Men should spend more time coloring with their kids. It's hot!) (I love that I know Mr. Husband just blushed reading that.) Her latest "thing" with coloring is that she will tell YOU what to color while she supervises. (I have no idea why we have a bossy kid. Now shut up and stop asking silly questions.) She requested a picture of Mommy and Daddy, so away he went, sketching and coloring and shading and drawing a picture of Mommy and Daddy. Between strokes with the dull, fat crayons, he would glance up at me to make sure he was drawing me just right. And he would cackle. In no way did I at all expect that he might be up to no good with that cackling because, you know, I'm not smart enough to figure THAT out.

Mr. Cackles eventually finished his beautious piece of artwork. It's title:

Because OF COURSE you should make it a battle of the sexes when your kid asks you to draw her Mommy and Daddy. I mean, how could it possibly be appropriate to draw Mommy and Daddy holding hands and singing Kumbaya in a field of pretty little flowers?

You know what IS appropriate? Drawing Mommy with devil horns. OH, YES HE DID.

MY TEETH ARE NOT THAT AWFUL. Gawd. But, um, I do tell Alexis it's time to go to bed. A lot. Apparently, that makes me the devil. And I bet you can guess who is the angel. Yup.

Nice halo, Buckeroo. I might have to use it to (*&*$^ the (*&#%^ out of (*^*&% and ^#@#%^$. Yes, I will.

So the next time I'm getting dirty looks or snide remarks from people because Alexis is awake waaaaaay past her bedtime (seriously--why do people always think it's the Mom's fault?), I am going to refer the judgmental goofus to this lovely post. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. Gah.

BTW, Mr. Husband, I'm glad you think your pretty little picture is so.dang.hysterical because I think it proves my point. You are SO wrapped around that kid's little finger and she knows it.

"Do whatever you want, Sweetie!" BLRGPHAZIZZLE.

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Reader Comments (55)

Oh, yeah. He's sunk. At least he's got some mad art skills.

And look at her . . . "Yeah, I'm the boss. What of it???"

So, when do you put crayon to paper? I'd like to see how you draw daddy :)

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaskiGal

Heh--I did once draw him standing next to a dog house that said "Daddy" above the door. I guess we're almost even.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby's Mom

I am point blank positive that is how my kids see me.
Too funny!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

That is a brave, brave man.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjayna

This is so funny! I was honestly laughing at your baby's drawing.

She has a great sense of humor! :D I dunno how my son sees me yet but a probably am like the devil too. lol

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYvie

Our spouses came from the same mold, God help us both.

This put a smile on my face that will last a week!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCheri @ Blog This Mom!

Wonder if he'll still feel like telling her to "do whatever she wants" when she's 16, and has the hots for some guy with a rainbow colored mohawk, wearing leather and riding a motorcycle, who's somewhere in the vicinity of 21?

Yep. Who'll be sporting the horns then? :)

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Sports Mama

I don't think they would actually admit it, but I'm pretty sure Isaac and Gracie would give me the horns too. Jon is the jungle gym parent therefore he gets the halo and wings.

Isn't that just craptastic.

I think that is my new favorite Alexis picture...

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCecily R

Your husband may have drawn himself to look like an angel, but I think he made himslef look like a slightly efeminate, BRITISH angel!

Hallie

I think you should do your own drawing and put it on the fridge for when he comes home.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndreAnna

So funny. I love the innocent picture at the bottom.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

I can see that halo strangling him at some point...

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

My husband is also from the "whatever you want" school of parenting (unless "whatever" intereferes with the game or something).

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Holy crap, that's hilarious!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAutumn

ha! That is awesome!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

So sad for Mr.Husband that he went from coloring with Alexis = swoon = probably gettin' some to drawing devil horns on Mommy = certainly not gettin' any, for a while. Why will they never learn? :P

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterImpostorMom

That picture of Alexis speaks volumes.

I think I'd be using his own masterpiece against him. Why is it always your job to put the kid to bed?

He is a pretty good artist for crayon sketches. Love all the highlights in your hair.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Did he offer her some fries with that?

And what's with his sideburns? Is he secretly related to Elvis?

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Queen

Yep, he just provided all the proof we need. I hate to say it, but Alexis looks a lot like THAT GIRL in that picture. Is she still shunning the kids at daycare?

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

This is really funny. I was totally nodding with you about how sexy he was...and then saw what he drew...

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHRH

I told my DH today that he also sucked as a DOGGIE PARENT. LOL Our little Gracie dog whines.. he rewards her by picking her up. Caving.. just like he does for our children. LOL

Love the artwork.

Ha! I love it.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenny, the Bloggess

LOL! Just remember some day she's going to be 16 and rule Mr. Husband with an iron fist...at least she'll have slept well while growing up! ;)

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I'm thinking he's back in the doghouse for a while again, eh?
He did a nice job on your highlights, though. And I noticed that you didn't deny that you have a tail...that will be interesting to see when we finally meet. Do you normally tuck it into your clothes or just walk around with it out, hitting people as you pass them? >=)

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

That man is a keeper for sure. Awesome art skills!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOHmommy

Those pics are hysterical...and I love the photo of her!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNap Warden

It's time to kill him.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarmarbug

Haha, love the photo of Alexis!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoltzie

So ... I noticed he seems to have drawn some bags under his eyes. Perhaps those are due to the sleep deprivation that results from failure to tell the child to go to bed. Sure, you may have gnarly teeth and devil horns, but at least you weren't drawn with bags under the eyes.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTranny Head

So did you make him sleep on the couch?

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Oh no he didn't!!! Is he alive to tell the tail... I mean tale?

Way to teach them about conflict in relationships at such an early age, Mr. Husband! Haha.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercaramama

A new avatar, perhaps?

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjust jamie

I'm confused. Did he draw himself wearing LIPSTICK?

Because if so, you no longer have any right to criticize my marriage.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatwoman

And then they wonder out loud what went wrong when they are out of control......just remember, "Do whatever you want sweetie." Can't wait to hear that when she is sneaking out in Daddy's car!

Hubby is the same way...he is their "friend" he says!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVal

lol! Bravo.

That's too funny!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Oh, Daddy Dear. You have gotten yourself into a muddle. You should know the only things you draw involving mommy & daddy are suggestive words. Shame on you. You are gonna get another lifetime chore out of this.

It's amazing how silly men can be at times, does he REALLY think you're not going to find a way to get even?

Poor naive soul.

Looking at that picture though, I can see why she's got him where she wants him. So so sweet.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

I'm not sure what exactly you plan to do with that halo, but I think it was sexual.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie Farklepants

Love the sass pose! Does Mr Husband know he can get in trouble for that kind of stuff?...gotta be in the right mood to find it funny :>

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHilary

That picture just proves she is the boss!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Ahaha! That is absolutely hilarious. She really does have him wrapped around her finger. Look at those arms crossed...she KNOWS she's boss!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAllison Says

Yep I think I would have to keep the bottom part of that picture and show it to him everytime she wants to do something that he doesn't want her to do. :)

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

Hmm. Looks to me like you're in serious need of dental work.

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

That poor poor man, he is so in for it ain't he!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

My husband, in the act of being a sweet daddy, is also so hot! Don't you just love that?

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Brooks

oh no he di'iht! Well, what did she have to say about his little art project??
the pic is priceless once again!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBirdie

Before I read, I scanned...looked the pics over. After reading, I'm just glad Alexis didn't draw those! That would be quite an imagination for a wee toddler!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

That is fantastic. Dad's are SUCH WUSSIES when it comes to their little girls. It's partly adorable, and partly disgusting ;) hehe

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

He's a feisty Mr. Husband, now isn't he?

She does have him wrapped around her pinky and at least he can admit it!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElaine A.

I hope you're saving that picture! The picture at the end says it all! And to think she's only two...what comes next? That picture will be biting Mr Husband in the butt very very soon!

June 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMy boys are Army Brats

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