All the Rude People, Please Keep to the Right

We've been keeping up with our bike riding at the Montour Trail about three nights a week. Here's some random thoughts on the topic:

1. I have rescued Alexis from the horror of the front seat and helped her get back her trailer. She is now free to resume sleeping while we ride.

2. There was an inordinate number of rude people out tonight. So rude, in fact, that I feel the need to call some of them out.

You sir, the roller-blading, Golden Retriever-having, red leash-holding jerkface, if you are on one side of the path, and your dog is on the other side, and you have a long red leash running between you, please pull your dog to you when a person on a bike approaches. I'm not really looking for decaptitation to be my method of death. Oh, and the people that were behind you stuck because of your path-hogging ways, they're cheering "Amen, sista" right about now.

Mr. Grey shorts that were really, really, really tight, you have a gross butt. Now while I admire that you are riding bike, perhaps in hopes of shaping and toning that butt, I didn't appreciate the really tight shorts, and I definately didn't appreciate the way you made sure it was in my view for over fifteen minutes. If I speed up, please let me pass. If I slow down, don't slow down to wait for me. It's just not nice to make me look at that mess any longer than I have to.

Finally, you lady with the cartwheeling five year-old. You are right, it is very cute that your kid can do cartwheels. I'm so glad you commented about how cute it was. But, could you possibly ask her to do them somewhere where bikers and walkers and rollerbladers aren't trying to get through? Because really, in a bike vs. cartwheeling five year-old collision, my money is on the bike.

3. Does anyone know where I can find sunglasses with built-in windshield wipers? The bug splatter is making it a wee bit difficult to see sometimes. Thanks.