Gimme the Bawna, and Nobody Gets Hurt
I think maybe Orlando had the right idea when they were experiencing the great banana shortage of 2007. Alexis is now so obsessed with eating bananas all the time that it's becoming difficult to buy them. If she so much as catches a glimpse, she goes all ape (ha! how's that for a bad joke).
I have turned into a stealth banana shopper. I sneak around the produce department, carefully distracting Alexis as I secretly snatch a bunch and hide them below the other items in the cart. It's easier that way.
Daddy needs to learn the art of the stealth. Yesterday he learned why. I warned him twice "don't let her see them" but he didn't listen. Because, you know, your wife couldn't possibly be nagging you for a reason. So when he grabbed a bunch and dropped them in the cart RIGHT BEHIND ALEXIS IN PLAIN VIEW (gasp!), he got to see the Bawna Monster in action.
The Bawna Monster (she can't quite say banana, but she sure can say bawna) starts out by politely and quietly asking for a bawna. If it doesn't work, then she gets louder and less polite. Then louder yet, and even less polite. Finally, she just starts yelling "BAWNA" at the top of her lungs. Daddy thought he could escape the Bawna Monster by handing her the bunch. She taught him who's the boss by promptly yelling at him to peel her bawna. She loudly chanted "DADDY BAWNA DADDY DADDY BAWNA." There's nothing better than seeing the looks on strangers faces as they try to figure out what all the commotion is about. And since Daddy is a rule-abiding citizen, she had to go without the bawna until after he had paid for them. Poor, deprived Bawna Monster.
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